1. Love, romance and passion
“I am a romantic at heart and have heard too many sad stories from friends about the losing the passion after a couple of years. So, right from the get go, my husband and I agreed to set a date night right for romance and conversation. This helped to strengthen our marriage. We have been married for almost 10 years now,” shares Cecil Tan, who’s in her late 30s and married to her school sweetheart.
Psychologists say that women are more aware and sexual and emotional satisfaction in a marriage is a part of this awareness.
2. Money matters
“You need to be able to communicate honestly about your expectations about money, particularly if one of you earns less than the other or not working at all. The more open the dialogue, the fewer the misunderstandings,” says Diana Mahmood, a stay-at-home of three shares,
3. Don't lose yourself
“Don’t lose yourself in being the mother. Despite how busy you get with the children’s needs, remember to work on the emotional and physical intimacy in marriage,” warns GG, who has three kids.
4. One bed, but two dreams
“Marriage is hard work. It requires a lot of energy and consistency for any couple to sustain common goals and interests. Most of my girlfriends feel like they have lost their identity in their marriage as they are perpetually catering to the needs of their husbands and the children. I firmly believe that wives should start working on themselves first before trying to bring about world peace,” says Kendris M, mother of five kids.
5. On the lonely road to divorce
In every stage, communication is key. Talk to your spouse about how you feel. Also ask yourself whether the relationship has harmed or helped you, suggest experts. This is especially crucial if you’re heading for a divorce or already divorced but not sure when it went wrong, agrees GG.
6. Regroup second time around
“You need to understand that in a second marriage, whether it’s your second marriage or your spouse’ second marriage, passion and romantic love will always take a backseat if children are involved. This is where you need to find new ways to approach the situation and evaluate if it’s right for both of you before jumping on the bandwagon,” shares Naz, who’s currently married to a divorcee with two kids.
Experts says that in a marriage, you are not only an individual but also a couple. Naz firmly believes that you need to forget about power plays and manipulations – honesty is always the best option. Count on yourself, remain committed, but remember that each of you is entitled to your own opinion and has every right to pursue your own dreams and interests, adds Naz.
Text: Bauer/ Good Health/ Additional Reporting:Shenielle Aloysis