1. Sneak In Some Together Time
Take the time to talk through the events of the day – that horrid client, new colleague, fab furniture shop you found, etc. Do it over dinner, in the tub, at the balcony with a glass of wine in hand or any other way which relaxes you both. It’s a good way to help your mind shut off and prepare your body for sleep. If time permits, try to make this a routine at least twice weekly.
2. Ban The Smartphones
As well as all tablets, laptops and any form of social media. Other than these devices being an obvious distraction from each other, research report findings on how your brain gets perked up by light emitted from the screens – thus affecting how well you fall asleep later on.
3. Clear The Bed Of Mess
Imagine a bed that’s cluttered with his suitcase, your work dress for the next day on your pillows, a pair of (worn?) jeans at the edge of the bed, your laptop running an episode of Game of Thrones, and the family dog lazing on the sheets. If that image does nothing to put you in the mood for love – or sleep for that matter – it’s time to clear the mess and ensure your bed remains a sanctuary for the both of you. Making your bed in the morning will naturally be a part of this routine too.
4. Keep The Kids Out
No, it does not mean you love the kids any less, only that mum and dad will definitely appreciate some alone time – and sanity – after a long day. Make the effort to split the child rearing duties daily after work, be it their homework, school clothes, lunchbox, listening to their friendship dramas, pocket money and report cards. Then take the effort to put the kids to bed together, let them know that your room is out of bounds, and that you’ll come back for them in the morning. As long as kids know they are loved, this point should be a breeze to carry out.
5. Say “I Love You”
Just before drifting into sleep, whisper “I love you”. It reaffirms your commitment to the marriage, and that you are happy to be in the relationship with your partner. Another powerful phrase is “I’m sorry”, because nothing dissolves anger like apologising can. It doesn’t make you weak or any less of a person, but shows true strength under control.