I met my husband, Jang*, about five years ago when I joined a tour group to South Korea. It was my first time to the country with a girlfriend, and Jang was our tour guide. The moment I set eyes on him at the airport, I knew I was in love.
It was not just his toned physique and height which had me quivering – Jang also had sharp, chiselled features that made him even more desirable and masculine. He looked like he just stepped out of my favourite Korean drama.
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Needless to say, I had the best holiday of my life. Jang was one of the nicest guys I’d ever met – he was genuinely caring to all the tour members, had a sense of humour and brimmed with positive energy. Best of all, I found out that he was single!
We kept in touch after we returned to Singapore, and after a year of dating and courtship, he proposed to me. It felt like a fairytale. At that time, Jang was 30 years old but he looked 25, like me. More than a dream boyfriend, Jang turned out to be the best husband ever. I felt that I could find no fault with him, until I discovered his secret…
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It was the day the air-conditioning in our house got wonky; I had to take a day off to wait for the repairmen to arrive as Jang was out on another tour assignment. As they started to move furniture away from the air-con to fix it, I busied myself with some cleaning. I was wiping a heavy cupboard they moved away from the wall when I noticed a little key taped at the back.
My curiosity was piqued. It did not occur to me why the key was there and what it was for, but I took it anyway and kept it with me. Later that evening, I suddenly remembered the locked drawer in our study where Jang did his reading most of the time. I never questioned why the drawer was locked – I just assumed it’s where Jang kept his private stuff like bank documents.
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I acted on instinct and inserted the key into the locked drawer, even though I knew it meant intruding into Jang’s privacy. I was right – it contained many of Jang’s private documents just as I had predicted. But I was unprepared for the other things I found.
First, there were a few photographs of this chubby teenager, whose face and neck were engulfed in layers of fat, with eyes that looked beady and droopy. I stared at the pictures for a long time, and realised that it’s a younger Jang I was looking at.
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I was surprised, of course, but was even more shocked when I discovered a medical file. Apparently, Jang went through a whole series of cosmetic surgeries 10 years ago. It included liposuction, muscle enhancement and facial sculpting. He had over 30 procedures done to his face alone to achieve his current flawless and chiselled look.
It occurred to me then that I had never seen any pictures of Jang in his youth. But the thing which troubled me more was that Jang had always been so honest with me – yet he had never mentioned this part of his life to me. Perhaps he wanted to keep it a secret in order to bury his ugly-teen past.
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I decided not to confront Jang when he returned, and made a promise not to mention it to anyone. I felt that he’d be crushed if he found out that I knew what he looked like pre-cosmetic surgery. I’m also ashamed to say that I wanted to keep what I had done a secret.
Now, when I look at Jang, I can’t help but feel that he is not who he is supposed to be – that what I’m seeing is all fake. But I know deep down that he’s still the sweet, wonderful man I married. And what matters most is that this will never change.
*Name changed to protect privacy.
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