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Two years ago, my 26-year-old son Louis* brought his girlfriend of eight months, Gwen*, home for dinner with the family. It was the first time that everyone in the family was meeting her and we guessed that Louis was serious about “this one”. My first impression of Gwen was that she was polite, soft-spoken and shy.

Over the next few months, Louis arranged for the family to spend more time with Gwen so that we could get to know her better. Little by little, I started to observe a very different Gwen from the one that we had known from that first dinner together.

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woman signing a cheque
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I noticed that during the entire time that Louis and Gwen were together, Louis paid for everything and she never had to lift a finger for anything; whenever we walked into an elevator, Louis would rush in to hold the door for her; he would open the car door for her; and I noticed a few times he helped hold her purse! I also noticed her admonishing Louis at the very slightest things, such as when he spilt tea while pouring it for her during a dim sum lunch once.

I started complaining to my husband about what I had observed. I said that this girl was taking advantage of my son and behaving like a complete diva. I began to resent Gwen and the way she made my son so subservient to her, in the way that he never was to me – his own mother.

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woman signing a cheque
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Feelings of jealousy started to boil inside of me and very soon these negative emotions turned into hate. At the mere mention of her, I would fume and sulk; I took great pains to conceal my contempt for Gwen in front of Louis. I knew that I had to talk to him about how I felt about this girl. But the one thing I feared happened before I had the chance to speak to him…

One evening, Louis annouced to us during dinner that he had proposed to Gwen the night before and that she had said yes. I felt a lump in my throat and my heart sank.

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woman signing a cheque
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Louis went on to say, excitedly, that he had bought a five-carat diamond ring to propose with and that Gwen had suggested that he, not the both of them together but only he, put down the deposit on a two-million dollar apartment in the East. I knew right there and then that I had to take a gamble and get this girl out of our lives.

I hatched a plan to offer Gwen a sum of money and tell her that in exchange she would have to break up with Louis. It was a hazardous undertaking; if she declines and tells Louis, he will hate me for attempting to take away the “love of his life”, but at the same time if she agrees, I will be free of her. Three days after Louis’ announcement, I called Gwen up and arranged to meet up with her under the pretense of discussing wedding plans together.

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woman signing a cheque
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As soon as she sat down across from me, I made my point straight away and offered her a check for $50,000. She stared at the check and then back at me; for a while then I thought that she would frown at me in disgust for doing such a thing, but to my surprise, she smiled and stowed the check away into her handbag. She backed her chair away from the table and as she stood up, she merely said, “Done”. My gamble had paid off.

The next few months were heartbreaking to watch; Louis sank into a dark depression and lost a lot of weight. I tried my best to comfort him, telling him that there are plenty of fishes in the sea and that he will meet someone who is worthy of him. My poor baby was absolutely distraught and I felt very guilty.

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woman signing a cheque
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Fortunately, Louis met someone about six months after Gwen’s break-up with him and is now in a happy and healthy relationship. I am very fond of his new girlfriend and hope that they will get married soon.

I know that what I did with Gwen was wrong and the agony I brought to my son is irreversible as he will always have painful memories of that break-up. However, I am certain that I have prevented Louis from a lifetime of suffering had he really married Gwen back then. A mother’s intuition is usually right and while I feel badly about what I did, I also do not regret it.

*Names changed to protect privacy.

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