twin babies in matching bunny outfits
(Photo: Pixabay/posed by models)

I was adopted as a baby. My adoptive mother developed a medical condition after giving birth to my two brothers, and could not have more children. But she really wanted a daughter, so they adopted me.

You may have heard horror stories about adoptive parents. Mine are not like that. They never discriminated against me, but it still wasn’t always easy. My brothers are a lot older than me, so we are not that close. Plus I look quite different – my skin is lighter, my hair is curlier, my size is bigger.

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twin babies in matching bunny outfits
(Photo: Pixabay/posed by models)

I remember one auntie giving me a pitying look at Chinese New Year, saying, “Such a shame you don’t have your mother’s trim little figure… oh, I forgot. How can you?” It might not sound so bad, but when you’re a teenager, it hurts to feel like an outsider.

I did ask about my birth family a few times, but my parents said they didn’t know anything. Eventually I stopped asking because it made my mother cry so much. But I feel it’s natural to want to know where you come from… 

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twin babies in matching bunny outfits
(Photo: Pixabay/posed by models)

 Then, almost two years ago, I went on holiday to a town in Malaysia. I was sitting in the hotel lobby waiting for my friends to come down to breakfast when a man came up and started chatting. He was asking about my job and so on… After a few minutes of me staring back blankly, he laughed nervously and said, “Luci*, don’t you remember me?” When I told him we’d never met, he was confused. He thought I was a woman he knew through work. He even showed me her picture on his phone. She looked exactly like me! Her smile, her face, her hairstyle was similar. I felt chills… somehow I just knew.

That night I Googled the place he said she worked. I sent an email, with my photo, my birth date, and a note about how I had been adopted. I left my contacts and asked if she wanted to get in touch? I was so nervous when I hit “Send”.

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twin babies in matching bunny outfits
(Photo: Pixabay/posed by models)

But the next night, Luci called. She sounded excited and shocked too. She explained she had also been adopted at birth, by an elderly couple – and once or twice they’d hinted she had a twin.

So we agreed to meet next day, at a coffee shop in a mall. It was so weird – looking at her was like looking in a mirror. We were even carrying the same brand of bag. We also liked the same food, the same movies. It was obvious, I had found my twin sister!

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twin babies in matching bunny outfits
(Photo: Pixabay/posed by models)

When I returned to Singapore, I desperately wanted to tell my adoptive parents. But … until now, I still haven’t told them. I don’t want to hurt them. My father is much older and his health is not so good now. My brothers are married already and do not come around often, so my mother relies on me. She keeps telling stories about when I was a little girl and repeating, “You are happy you came to me, aren’t you?” The other day she made soup… she kept patting my hand and telling me to eat more. I think it would break her heart to know I’d “gone behind her back”.

Luci and I have pieced together all we can find about our background – our mother was a friend of Luci’s adoptive third auntie. But we don’t know anything about our father or why we were given away and split up.

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twin babies in matching bunny outfits
(Photo: Pixabay/posed by models)

We keep in contact regularly through Skype and Whatsapp. Luci and I have a lot in common, but we’re also very different. For example, I enjoy my job. I want to do well and travel. Luci is just not interested. She strolls in at 10 am, has a long lunch and goes home at 5 pm. I find her attitude quite lazy!

Luci also loves parties and goes clubbing – not my cup of tea. She looks bored when I speak about my work, yet last month she asked me for money to buy a better car. She said, “You have more savings – it’s only fair.” But how does she think I got those savings? Because I worked for them! It hurts to say this… but she sees me as a cash machine sometimes.

But I am still really happy I found her. I think we’ll work things out in time. It’s just… I assumed I’d get on perfectly with “my blood”. But it’s much more complicated. We’ll see what happens.

*Name changed to protect privacy.

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