My husband says I am not good at planning, so he will be shocked when he realises I have planned one thing for years – leaving him.
When we had our second child my husband told me frankly I should stay home and be a full-time housewife and mother. I was not sure, because I enjoyed my work. But I also wanted to be with my kids, so I agreed. Looking back, it was a mistake for me.
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My husband would give me housekeeping money every month, and he left it up to me how I spent it. I was careful. My mother taught me to find bargains, like baking at home, and sewing. So I would search out good deals, use frozen meats and save using discount coupons and so on.
I was good at it! Sometimes I saved almost a quarter of the housekeeping money. At first I did not tell my husband how much I was keeping back, because I wanted us to have a nest egg – some money saved for a rainy day.
But gradually my plan changed. Now I will use that money for my own “rainy day”. I will use it to find a place of my own, away from him – and his mummy dearest.
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My mother-in-law came to live with us after her husband died. She started complaining that her house was too big, she was lonely, afraid, you name it… she caused so much fuss my husband let her move in with us. I tried to say it was not a good idea, but he put her first.
Since then, it’s always been her first. You cannot believe how selfish she is. She loves to say “I am a frail old woman” when she does not want to do something boring, like housework. But she is still so vain pot. She will sulk like a child until she gets what she wants.
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My husband’s spent thousands of dollars paying for her laser treatments, facial fillers, Botox and what not. He also pays for her healthcare, dance lessons, haircuts, holidays to Europe, cruises… everything and anything she wants. She has a small pension but she uses it for herself. She rarely buys our kids anything except a few cheap T-shirts. She bought me earrings when we married – and that’s the last gift she bought me.
My mother-in-law is also very fussy about what she eats – if we eat at home she will only eat expensive organic greens and cooking oil. So he gives me extra money to buy them – but actually I go to the wet market and buy cheap greens. I tell her they are organic and keep the extra money.
She also says she only likes certain expensive brands of cereal and so on. But I sometimes buy cheaper brands and put them into the Tupperware boxes. She has never noticed the difference! I do all the cooking and housework anyway – how will she find out?
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I also rarely buy clothes or beauty items. I say it’s because I prefer a simple look… but really, I do not want to spend money. My husband does not care. As long as I am neat and tidy, it’s enough. He treats me more like his maid than his wife.
Anyway, it is only a few years before my youngest child leaves college. Then I will move away. You can say I am calculative, keeping money back for so many years. But I feel I have paid for it in sweat and tears.
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I love my children – I think they will understand my reasons. And they have their own lives now, more and more. It is time for me to have my life too. I smile when I imagine living in my own home. And when I think about her doing the cooking and washing and housework… I smile even more.
*Key details changed to protect privacy.
Photos: 123rf.com, Pixabay
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