Taylor Swift is on a roll. Fresh from her 15-month romance with Scottish DJ, Calvin Harris, the ‘Shake It Off’ star has, well, shaken off her old flame and resurfaced just two weeks later, publicly romancing British hottie, Tom Hiddleston. Not the kind of relationship you have in mind? We pick out the 10 best secrets of successful love stories.
1. Touch Each Other More
Research consistently prove that the human touch creates stronger bonds, as it releases the oxytocin hormone. Now you’ve got plenty of reason to hold hands, hug, kiss, cheek rub and fist-bump your partner. Link your pinkies when you pass by each other, give a hug goodbye each time, take the time to smile. A little truly goes a long way.
2. Choose To See The Good
Expectations are really just glorified dreams of the hopes we have, and can bring huge disappointments once the reality kicks in that our partner is in fact, fallible. Instead of harping on mistakes, try focusing more on what he or she does right. Happy couples focus on the good, and accentuate the positive.
3. Make Forgiveness And Trust Your Default Modes
Ruth Bell Graham, wife of the famous evangelist Billy Graham once famously put, “A good marriage is the union of two good forgivers”. While you may not forgive and forget, you can however choose to forgive and let go. Turn every mistake into a chance to learn trust and forgiveness, instead of distrust and resentment.
4. Never Stop Dating
Successful lovers make time for dates – even if you are already married and/or live together. No, that short conversation by the edge of your bed before hitting the sack doesn’t equate to quality time, neither is that quick stop for grocery shopping. Bring back the flirting, the spontaneous day trips, or even just a short session at the coffeeshop downstairs once weekly to break the routine.
5. Compliment Generously
No one quite gets tired of being told how beautiful, clever, quick-witted, generous or loving they are, and that includes your partner too. Sneak in a quick, “hey you look good in that suit today,” or “I really love the pasta you cooked today”, or “you totally nailed that presentation” – and you’ll be surprised just what a mood-lifter compliments can be.
6. Never Get Familiar
In other words, once you start expecting things to happen – that’s when complacency has kicked in. Ever found yourself angry when he stopped holding out chairs for you at restaurants? Or how he used to inform about the work travels but doesn’t do so now? Even the longest of relationships require constant nurturing and respect. Avoid assumptions and make time for regular chats to get updated on each other’s lives.
7. Create Common Interests
After the initial fire of the courtship period ends, some couples realise with a start that they don’t have as much in common as they believed after all. So, what now? If you really want the relationship to work, start cultivating common interests together that you can enjoy. Apart from sports and crafts, you can also join classes on politics, literature, religion, history etcetera.
8. Go To Bed At The Same Time
This might just be one of the best habits you can cultivate, especially for married couples. By agreeing on a time to head to bed everyday, you are not only teaching your body to stop working so hard and get enough rest – this time before your eyelids shut is also a good chance for you to laze about and chat casually with your man.
9. Learn To Listen
As more and more men are testifying, women don’t really need solutions and “to-the-rescue” partners, but rather, men who know how to listen. On the flipside, men appreciate their personal space, so when their ladies pull away in understanding, this allows him to reconnect his commitment to the relationship.
10. Stay Off The Smart Phone
Ever been to a restaurant and seen tables where nobody was talking, but were instead glued to their gadgets? When you are with your partner, make a concerted effort to not respond to that email, check in on your BFF’s latest Instagram status, or Google ‘Taylor Swift and Tom Hiddleston’. When you respect, the same will be returned.