What feelings come up when you think of the word ‘relax’? Do you feel peaceful? Or does it give you a racing heart and a feeling of panic? If you get a manicure or a massage, do you spend the entire time thinking about your to-do list, or multi-task your way through it, instead of just relaxing?
Trying to relax can make some people feel even more anxious. A 2012 study at the University of Cincinnati in the USA, studied people who said relaxation made them anxious. The people were asked to do relaxing activities such as yoga or getting a massage. While they were “relaxing’ they were asked questions about their emotions and attitudes.
The people who said they felt anxious about relaxing often felt embarrassed to be relaxing. They also said they felt nervous and bored. On top of this, they also worried that there might be something ‘wrong’ with them because they found it so hard to relax!
Psychologist Jocelyn Brewer says there are several reasons why some people find it hard to relax. “They may feel they’re not ‘good’ at relaxing. Sometimes they fear what might come up in their minds when they are alone with their thoughts. Or they feel it’s just better to be busy all the time.”
We live in a fast-paced world. It’s not enough to have one job anymore. Now we aim to have ‘passions’ and ‘side hustles’ as well. Your socials are probably full of people humble-bragging about how they are “always grinding” and “crazy busy”. No wonder we feel we must be multi-tasking all the time to be respected. Now you can’t just relax while you get a manicure – you have to work on your phone at the same time.