Just like the saying, “You are what you eat”, it’s also true that you are what you think. “Every thought you have, each emotion you feel, you are either programming yourself for success or failure,” says Vesna. “So when we look in the mirror, if we focus on the negatives we will find them.”

Don’t believe it? Next time you catch yourself staring miserably into the mirror, try tuning into your thoughts. “Pay attention to your internal dialogue,” says Vesna. “Listen to what you say to yourself as you look in the mirror and what emotions you feel!’

If you’re bombarding yourself with cruel thoughts about having bingo wings or a hairy chin, it’s hardly surprising you’ll feel sad and dejected. “If we beat up on ourselves, it further reduces our confidence,” Vesna adds. “Becoming aware of your internal dialogue is important because it’s the only way you can know what you need to change.”

“Our confidence largely depends on the relationship we have with ourselves – that’s why it’s important to work on loving ourselves and stop being our own worst enemies,” says Vesna.

When the body image blues start playing in your head, have a go at changing the tune and you’ll be on your way to mastering the second step. “Focus on the positive because the brain will find whatever we look for,” she says. That’s why deciding to love your reflection starts in your head, not at the gym, the hair salon or in a clothes shop changing room.

“Self-esteem is the confidence we have in our own worth,” says Vesna.

To give your self-esteem a boost, she recommends trying a simple exercise next time you look in the mirror. It starts by choosing one physical feature that you like – maybe your shiny hair, slender wrists or sparkly eyes – and thinking about why you like it as you look in the mirror.

“It’s important to be specific with the positive messages you tell yourself became our subconscious mind responds best to something like I am grateful for the shape and length of my legs rather than vagueness such as I like my lower half,” says Vesna.

Repeat this message each time you pass a mirror and it will soon become habit. “Keep building this ‘positive self-talk muscle’ by practising regularly for a couple of weeks:’ she says.

The final step in learning to love your reflection is to broaden your efforts. “Begin to focus on more than just physical appearance when you look in the mime explains Vesna. “When we appreciate ourselves and acknowledge our achievements, this helps enormously.”

Try thinking of what you enjoy and are proud of about your personality, skills and achievements. For example, maybe you’re sensitive and generous towards others, have an unblemished driving record or manage a profitable business. Seeing beyond your physical reflection to these other positives is part of actively embracing your complete self.

“If we place self-worth on more than our appearance, our self-esteem becomes connected to our qualities, skills and abilities as a person as well,” Vesna explains.

Remind yourself that it’s never too late to treat yourself with kindness and respect and you’ll be well on your way to loving your reflection.

“Some women actually increase their confidence with age because they become more comfortable in their own skin and who they are,” says Vesna. “That is true empowerment – to be loving of ourselves and confident at any time we choose.”

According to a Dove survey, 54 per cent of women agree they are their own worst critic, and only 4 per cent would consider themselves to be beautiful.

Text: Bauer Syndication

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