We all know that person: the one who happily skips through life with amazing opportunities constantly falling into their lap. Perfect husband? Tick. Great job? Tick. Fabulous friendship circle? Tick, tick, tick. And there’s another person we all know. The one who can’t catch a break. Whose tales of woe come one after the other, leaving behind a trail of tears. But what if you could choose which one of those people YOU are?
“People are not born lucky,” says Professor Richard Wiseman in his bestselling book, The Luck Factor. “Instead, without realising it, lucky people are using four basic principles to create good fortune in their lives.”
The British experimental psychologist became engrossed in the mechanics of luck, and spent many years trying to understand why fortune smiles on some people and not others. “Certain people seemed to attract good luck consistently whilst others were a magnet for ill fortune,” he writes.
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This proposition was illustrated by a 2010 study of how lucky charms influence behaviour. German psychologist Lysann Damisch led a research project that had participants perform a series of tasks, some with lucky charms and some without. Those who believed they had luck on their side performed significantly better than those who didn’t. In one experiment, participants were asked to putt balls into a hole four feet (1.2m) away. Those who had been told they were playing with a “lucky ball” sunk their shots 35 per cent more often.
“Activating a superstition boosts participants’ confidence in mastering upcoming tasks, which in turn improves performance,” Professor Damisch found.
Professor Wiseman hypothesised that by changing how we think and act, we could invite more luck in, devising a series of studies to discover what separates the lucky from the unlucky.
Opportunity seems to fall into the laps of lucky people, but Professor Wiseman writes it’s not chance that brings opportunity their way, but their own actions, saying: “The way they think and behave makes them far more likely than others to create, notice and act upon chance opportunities in their lives.”
One of the experiments Professor Wiseman conducted involved a scenario that planted opportunities in a coffee shop. He placed a £5 note at the entrance, seated three actors inside and sent two different participants into the scenario, one of whom self-identified as unlucky, Brenda, and one who thought of himself as lucky, Martin.
Martin spotted and pocketed the money and then he sat next to an actor dressed as a businessman and soon started chatting to him. Brenda, on the other hand, didn’t notice the cash and sat in the coffee shop in silence, keeping to herself. “Same opportunities. Different lives,” Professor Wiseman observed.
Brooke McAlary, author of Care: The Radical Art of Taking Time, truly believes that we can be the masters of our own luck, because she did it herself. Six years ago, she was a harried business owner living in the city and suffering from postnatal depression. Now she is an author and podcast creator living happily in the Southern Highlands. One of her key pieces of advice is to start small.
“I tried to go all in straight away with the big stuff,” she says. “With decluttering I thought: I’m going to be the best at this in the world. I just ended up making a massive mess and feeling worse about my situation. Then I went into the opposite direction and thought: What is the tiniest thing I can do right now that will move the needle, even just by a millimetre?
“I cleaned out my medicine cabinet. That’s when I realised that tiny acts have these ripples that go way further than you could ever imagine.”
That small success gave her the courage to tackle greater challenges.
A big part of being lucky is listening to intuition, Professor Wiseman says. According to him, lucky people “have the confidence to trust their inner voices and develop their intuitive feelings. They have been lucky before, so they expect to be lucky again and feel safe following their instincts.”
Sydney PR professional Charlotte Howells traces her run of good fortune back to a day in 2015 when she got a feeling something special was about to come her way. She was buying lunch when she noticed a competition. “I remember thinking: I’m going to enter this, and I’m going to win.”
Which she did. She can’t explain it, other than to say she just had a feeling that having a go was likely to pay off.
In 2018, Charlotte enjoyed an incredible string of luck, starting with winning a trip to Argentina. If you can believe it, Charlotte then went on to win a trip to New Zealand later that same year. Charlotte’s luckiest year followed one of her most difficult, and she puts her good fortune down to the fact that in 2018 she made a conscious decision to say yes to as many opportunities as she could.
“I loved saying yes,” says Charlotte. “I found more things have happened to me when I was in that positive headspace.”
For Brooke, one key to getting fortune to smile on you is to make sure you really know how to listen to your intuition so the things you are saying yes to are the things you want and will make you happy.
“We’re fed this narrative of what the good life looks like but the more we’re striving for what someone else appears to have, the less we’re asking ourselves those questions and gaining that self-knowledge. It clouds intuition.”
When she wanted to get more in touch, she turned to journaling. But she also recommends drawing or recording your own voice. “You don’t censor it. You just let stuff flow,” she says.
Finding the time to be still is also important. “There is this Italian phrase, dolce far niente, which means the deliciousness of nothing. Sit at a coffee shop and people watch. Lay on your lounge and listen to the kids playing next door. Sit and watch the sun go down. Anything that allows you to settle into the moment. You’re not judging, you’re not meditating, it’s just doing nothing. That syrupy delicious idleness. That’s a really gentle way of getting to know that inner voice.”
Knowing what you want is key in getting what you want. Whether that’s accepting a job opportunity, saying yes to an invitation, or starting your own business. A ‘yes’ for you might be saying no to the promotion, and continuing to grow in the position you already love.
This fits neatly into Professor Wiseman’s theory that expecting good luck creates luck. “The unique way that lucky people thought about their future was responsible for them being more effective than most when it came to achieving their dreams and ambitions.”
Luck, he contends, can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Because lucky people expect to succeed they are not easily discouraged, and are more likely to strive.
In one of her studies, Professor Damisch asked participants to bring a lucky charm, which she then took away. The participants were then set a memory task. Before they started, half of them were given back their lucky charms, and they performed significantly better than those who weren’t. The study found those who had their charms were more confident, and so did better.
A superstitious belief also makes people more effective because they are more persistent when they have their lucky charms, the study found.
During his presidency, Barack Obama carried several lucky charms every day. He said he had a whole bowl of talismans that had been given to him, ranging from a set of rosary beads from Pope Francis, to a lucky metal poker chip that a biker gave him in Iowa in 2007.
“I’m not that superstitious,” President Obama said in an interview in January 2016. “If I feel tired or discouraged, I can reach into my pocket and say, yeah, that’s something I can overcome because somebody gave me the privilege to work on these issues. I’d better get back to work.”
One of Professor Wiseman’s most significant findings was also one of this earliest. He invited 700 Brits who were playing the lottery to identify if they were lucky, unlucky or neutral, and then he asked them to pick lottery numbers. He wanted to see if “lucky” people fared better.
Only 36 of the 700 participants won money in the draw. “They were evenly split between lucky and unlucky people,” Professor Wiseman wrote. Only two people won a decent amount – picking four correct numbers to win £58 each. One was lucky, the other was unlucky.
Professor Wiseman concluded that the only things that really separates the lucky from the unlucky is outlook, which means that anyone can take action to make themselves luckier.
“Lucky people approached the unlucky situation in a far more constructive way,” he explained.
Brooke agrees. “Optimism is hope plus action,” she says. “You can’t just sit and think: everything will be fine if I just sit here. It doesn’t need to be impressive or showy, but one tiny action leads to that feeling of achievement, which makes you feel more positive about yourself.”
When it comes to finding a way not to get dragged down by feelings of bad luck when things go wrong, taking a step back and seeing yourself as part of something bigger can help.
“I’ve been thinking about that a lot with my dad being in hospital,” she says. “Being in the ICU, you see there are quite literally dozens of people having awful experiences and there’s something unifying about that that has shifted my understanding and how we spend time with people.
“We certainly can – sometimes – find a right way to right-size our problems.”
Of course, our own actions can’t influence external factors. But if we focus on opportunities, listen to intuition and have confidence that perseverance will pay off, we can invite more luck into our lives.
Text: bauersyndication.com.au
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