When you are feeling restless or out of sorts, ask yourself: What is the most nurturing thing I can do for myself?

“Sometimes your body might need to go for a walk, other times, you just need to sit still or stay in bed,” Domonique explains.

Do not push yourself just because you think you should – if your body is telling you it needs rest, it is usually for a good reason!

“I know so many people who feel like they are coming down with something – so they go out and exercise, but that is not what you need when you have a cold,” she says.

Aim for a little quiet time away from the family, or perhaps give your own neck, feet and hands a little self-massage.

Avoid self-judgment and silence that niggling voice in your head that keeps saying negative things about you. A huge part of practising self-compassion is to remember that you are in control of ignoring or listening to that unhelpful voice at any time.

“When you hear negative thoughts and criticism, do not get caught up in a debate with it,” says Domonique.

Instead, distract yourself by reflecting on your good qualities. Remind yourself that you are a successful and loving person. This is the first step to stopping harsh self-criticism and acknowledging that negative self-talk is simply an expression of your fears and insecurities – and should not be taken as a factual assessment of you or the situation.

You do not expect others to be flawless, so why do you hold yourself to ridiculously high standards of perfection, which goes against the principles of self-compassion? Time to hit reset on that type of self- sabotaging thinking!

Instead of blaming yourself the next time something goes wrong, try treating yourself the same way you would a dear friend.

“Before you beat yourself up, stop and think: If someone came and told me this, what would I tell them?” says Domonique.

Think about the choice of encouraging words and sentiments you would use to reassure your friend in a similar situation, and the type of gentle advice and support you would offer them – then play those words back to yourself.

When was the last time you challenged yourself? Studies show your self-esteem does not get an opportunity to grow stronger when you are stuck in a rut. However, when you make the choice to challenge yourself with new activities, you give your self-esteem an incredible boost. It does not have to be anything too outlandish – do not feel pressurised to belly-dance or skydive – it can be something as simple as ditching your old tried-and-true lunch venue to try a new one.

Domonique’s favourite brave, new challenge is to take a book to a café and sit down to eat solo.

“A lot of women find this challenging, but it takes them out of their comfort zone. Something like this makes you realise you are more adaptable and flexible than you thought,” she says.

It can be tough to remember to stop and smell the roses, but it is important to be mentally disciplined enough to focus on living in the moment.

“When people do not learn from the past or have hope for the future, they can get caught up in all kinds of worry,” Domonique explains.

“When you find yourself thinking about an event in the past, ask yourself: What did I learn from it? What can I do differently next time? Likewise, when you are thinking about the future, rather than engaging in a cycle of worry, ask yourself: What can I do to make my desired outcome become a reality?”

Take a proactive approach to problems instead of letting worry build. So, for example, if your health concerns you, try to remember when your last check-up was, and book one. Being kinder and compassionate to yourself will leave you feeling better in more ways than one.

Most of us are much harder on ourselves than we are on other people. Here is an action plan to tackle three common feelings that undermine our morale.

Stop thinking:

• I am stupid
• I look hideous
• What will others think of me?

Start thinking:

• I have simply made a mistake here
• I am beautiful – there are just some things that do not flatter me
• I do not need to worry about what others might think

Say out loud:

• I am an intelligent person who is also willing to learn
• I cherish my body and love what it does for me
• I am likeable and can make friends pretty easily

Text: bauersyndication.com.au

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