The happiest people seem to be the ones that relish life. They appear to have an innate passion for everything they do and find pleasure wherever they go. They have a natural joie de vivre and they are doing what social psychologist Fred B Bryant calls ‘savouring’.
In his book Savouring: A New Model of Positive Experience, Bryant and co-author Joseph Veroff say the way in which we view past, present and future experiences can either generate lasting happiness or give us only fleeting pleasure.
READ NEXT
“We don’t automatically feel joy and happiness when good things happen to us,” explains Bryant. Instead, it’s the way we reflect on these experiences that determines how happy we are. So in order to reap real benefits, he says, we need to change the way we think about the events that shape our lives.
Here are 10 actions you can apply to the way you live, celebrate and perceive your life.
While you may appreciate the time you spend with family and friends, Bryant says it isn’t really enough to just be physically present with others.
“People who share their positive feelings with friends have higher levels of overall happiness than people who don’t,” he explains.
This is because sharing an experience through reminiscence encourages us to savour good times, causes a spike in feelgood hormones and creates good memories.
Pausing during an event or occasion to focus on really seeing who is around you and taking in the details of the event is vital to the art of savouring. Taking this time helps you build more vivid memories and pleasurable reminiscences.
In one of Bryant’s studies, participants were instructed to go for a 20-minute walk each day for a week. Those who were told to look for good things to remember during their walk reported higher levels of happiness at the end of the week than those instructed to simply take a walk or to consciously look for bad things.
“This style of savouring involves mentally patting yourself on the back and exalting in the pride associated with a positive outcome,” says Bryant.
Research from Canada and the US has found people who experience this kind of positive pride are also usually confident, agreeable and conscientious. Not only are they happier, they also see their success as a result of their efforts and not of luck.
“Wishing yourself joy for personal achievements,” says Bryant, “can make those experiences more rewarding.”
The pleasure that your senses can bring you is the form of savouring that we are most familiar with. A smell, taste, sound or sight can inspire or remind you of past pleasures. Unfortunately, we often miss this experience because we are too busy in our daily lives to notice.
“In these cases, blocking out distractions can enhance savouring by sharpening your focus on the pleasure itself,” explains Bryant.
If you take the time to focus on one thing at a time, you will heighten your experiences.
Expressing positive feelings can intensify them by providing your mind with physical evidence that you are, in fact, joyful, according to Bryant.
“In several experiments, people asked to express their feelings in observable ways while watching a funny video reported more enjoyment than people instructed not to express their feelings,” he says. “In other words, ‘putting on a happy face’ may actually help you feel more positive.”
Bryant suggests that in order to fully appreciate the joy you are feeling it may be useful to imagine a worst-case scenario. If you have a frame of reference for measuring the happiness induced by an experience, it can heighten the joy.
“Imagining a worse outcome increases appreciation of success,” he explains. “While imagining a better one lowers appreciation.”
Mindfulness is a Buddhist technique recommended for reducing stress and anxiety, but it can also boost happiness because it helps you to savour every moment. In mindfulness it is important not to judge what is happening to you or around you. Simply experience it.
“Savouring through absorption involves deliberately avoiding mental reflection in favour of simply experiencing the ongoing positive event as it is unfolding,” says Bryant.
Gratitude is a state of mind that is becoming more significant in the field of positive psychology. For gratitude to be effective, you need to be thankful for all that you have and let go of the frustrations associated with wishing for more.
In order to really benefit from the act of giving thanks, says Bryant, you need to be specific about the things you are grateful for and why you are grateful for them.
While it goes against mindfulness, different tools suit different situations, says Bryant, and being aware of how fleeting time is can motivate you to enjoy the past, present and future to the fullest.
“You can savour past good times by reminiscing and rekindling the joy from these memories in the present,” says Bryant, “and you can savour future good times before they occur by imagining the joy you’ll feel when these positive outcomes actually happen.”
“When it comes to feeling joy,” says Bryant, “it’s just as important to avoid thinking negatively as it is to think positively.”
Research shows when you qualify a good experience with ‘buts’ and ‘shoulds’, you reduce the amount of time you will feel joy. So whatever moment you’re enjoying, stay focused. “Avoid the temptation to think about other things you should be doing,” he says.
TIP: Variety is the spice of life.
While you might prefer repeating favourite experiences, research has shown that repeating the same pleasures too soon doesn’t work because the mind is wired to respond more effectively to new events. Instead, try out a variety of experiences and spread out pleasurable events over a longer period of time.
The more ‘yes’ responses you have to the following statements, the greater your ability to savour life:
1. I love to reminisce about positive stories.
2. On my way to work I often see something that makes me smile.
3. I laugh every day.
4. When I achieve a goal I immediately celebrate.
5. I love long, leisurely meals with friends.
6. I get excited when thinking about positive things in the future.
7. I have a long list of things I’m grateful for.
8. I like to touch things to see what they feel like.
9. I love new experiences.
Read Next
Text: bauersyndication.com.au