Even if you’ve been married for decades or are a newly-hitched couple, awkward moments can still crop up in the sack and throw you for a loop. To accommodate your ever-shifting sexual climate, here’s some advice on how to handle stumbling blocks in the bedroom with unwavering confidence and finesse:
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Always heap loads of praise on a shy partner when he even starts something new or a little different. The more praise he gets, the more he’ll think to himself, Ooh, this feels good! Next, you can invest in a sex guide and tell him you’d love him to highlight something he might want to try.
Here are some tips to get you feeling more comfortable with going “downtown”: Shower together in a sensual way, slowly soap each other down, and start to caress each other. Then towel yourselves dry to get ready for foreplay. This baby step will at least get you more comfortable with his south-of-the-border region.
If you’re newly married, you both might feel a bit nervous but hopefully you’ll learn to relax and realise that you simply want to please each other. Once you talk about it and open up, you can exchange what sort of touches and stimulation you both like.
This happens to 99 percent of couples. When two people first meet, they’re fizzing with sexual chemistry and energy. But after time, a couple would burn out if they kept up this hot sexual pace. Approach it from the angle that you’d like to do more of X, Y, or Z, rather than saying that you don’t get enough of X, Y, or Z.
Start small and slowly. Take your husband back to one of the places you went to when you were first dating. If you can’t do that, get out a photo album from your early days and, with no other distractions, share some of your hottest memories.
Ask someone you trust to babysit to simply give the two of you some quality time on your own. Don’t talk about baby things; talk about the things you two enjoy. The little break doesn’t have to be for having sex; use it to go for a walk or to watch a steamy movie together as a way to reintroduce intimacy into your relationship.
Try to get him to last longer by changing positions or the things you’re doing, without even telling him; this will actually slow him down. Imagine you’re in the missionary position, and then you teasingly tell him how much you’d like to try doggy-style. By switching things up, he stops getting immediate stimulation.
Most couples find that after 6 to 12 months, things cool down, and sex becomes much less frequent but if you’re still raring to go, there’s absolutely no need for you to worry that either or both of you will burn out. What’s more important is keeping your channels of communication open so you’re both on the same page.
Any and all positions are good to go! Don’t be scared to experiment for fear of hurting his feelings. Try also suggesting one new thing at a time during a sex session, or else he may get concerned that you’ve been unhappy with things.
Kegel exercises greatly improve your vaginal and pelvic floor muscles. All you do is imagine the muscles you’d use to stop yourself mid-flow during urination. Then gently tighten and squeeze those muscles, hold for a count of two to three seconds, and repeat this 10 times. You should see an improvement within one month.
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