You’d be amazed how children who are polite to others are regarded more positively. For example, saying “please” and “thank you”, waiting patiently for their turn at the swings, sharing their toys with their friends, sticking to the rules of the game and developing good table manners are all habits that make others feel comfortable in their presence.

We are all, by nature, social animals; we enjoy the company of others. As children vary in their ability to interact in a friendly way with their peers, develop good social skills in your four-year-old by reminding them to smile and chat when they meet people, to invite their friends to play with them and to resolve disagreements without fighting.

Apart from helping their siblings, friends and family if they are struggling with something, your child can also be introduced to charity – perhaps by encouraging them to give away part of their pocket money or donate some of their old toys. Care and consideration are always much appreciated by the recipient.

Life is so much more enjoyable when they can stand on their own two feet and do as much as possible by themselves. The effects of independence are both psychological and practical. For example, they will feel good knowing that they can dress without your help in the morning, or that they can pour their own drink without needing to ask you.

Most challenges require persistence for completion and if your four-year-old can develop this habit, they will achieve lots in life. It’s about teaching them to continue working on a puzzle until they find the solution, continuing with their dance lessons until they master the steps and resisting any temptation to give up when success seems elusive.

If your kid shows sensitivity towards the needs and feelings of others, they will be more popular with and valued by them. This means thinking about their friends and family, looking at the world from their points of view, and acting in a way which shows they understand them by modifying their words and actions appropriately.

It will be much easier for them to follow their daily schedule if they start organising their life properly and preparing in advance for what lies ahead. For instance, suggest that they lay their clothes out neatly the night before and that they pack their bag for preschool well before they have to leave the house in the morning.

Establishing healthy lifestyle habits at this age will have long-term benefits throughout childhood and into adulthood. This involves them having plenty of exercise, getting involved in both indoor and outdoor activities and eating a wide range of healthy foods. They’ll easily achieve this with your advice, guidance and support.

The habit of showing respect not just to adults, but also to their siblings and peers, will have a huge impact. People like to feel that they are taken seriously and valued and that their views are held in high regard. Respect means your child should listen to the views of another person – even if they do not share the same view or thinks they are wrong – and then give a sensible reply.

Nobody likes a liar. They can’t be trusted, they aren’t popular and they won’t be included in games, parties and other social activities. That’s why your four-year-old should be encouraged to be honest at all times. Explain to them that telling the truth is always better than lying, whatever the consequences. That’s the only way others will regard them as trustworthy and reliable.

This article was first published in Young Parents. 

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