In order to get a divorce, you have to be married for at least 3 years.

In special cases, divorce can be filed before there has been 3 years of marriage. However, you will have to prove that you have suffered exceptional hardship or if your spouse has been exceptionally unreasonable and cruel.

To obtain a divorce in the Singapore justice system, you or your spouse must be domiciled (treated Singapore as your permanent abode) at the start of the divorce proceedings.

Alternatively, either of you must have resided in Singapore for 3 years immediately before the commencement of divorce proceedings. Foreigners are subject to different divorce rules.

Divorce in Singapore is based on ‘irretrievable breakdown‘ but this claim must be backed by evidence of one or more of the following:

• adultery
• unreasonable behaviour
• desertion
• 2 years separation with consent or 3 years separation without consent.

If you don’t have photographic evidence of ‘adultery‘, you can still file under ‘improper association‘ and bring in the 3rd party as a co-defendant to answer to your claims.

It is possible to file for a divorce without engaging a lawyer. It would certainly involve less costs than having a lawyer.

But bear in mind that if your partner decides to contest the divorce, it’s advisable to engage a lawyer who will guide you through the legal, procedural and formal requirements of court proceedings.

That being said most divorce cases are uncontested, amicable divorces – which means that the reasons and ancillary matters (custody, division of property) are agreed upon by the spouses prior to the divorce.

Only in rare cases where spouses continue to disagree, are these then heard in front of the judge. This makes up less than a quarter of cases.

Starting divorce proceedings also doesn’t mark a point of no return – people can and do change their minds.

Carrie Gill, partner at law firm, Harry Elias Partnership LLP’s Matrimonial and Family Law practice, says that about 10 per cent of women have a change of heart after seeking advice. While another 20 per cent happily reconcile.

Several documents need to be filed in the Family Justice Courts in divorce proceedings. The relevant filing fees need to be paid as well. The documents are:

• A writ for divorce – if you are filing this, the same writ will be served on the Defendant personally
• A statement of claim – this should specify on what facts (whether of adultery, unreasonable behaviour, desertion or separation) you are relying on to get a divorce
• A statement of particulars – this should set out in full the details of the facts stated in the statement of claim

Many people think divorces favour the fairer sex because of the Women’s Charter, but because men often earn more and therefore, contribute more to the family finances, women can lose out when it comes to apportioning matrimonial property.

The flip side of the coin is that alimony is usually awarded from the man to the woman and not the other way around, even if the missus earns more.

Divorce will be hard on your wallet especially if you’re looking to hire lawyers because that will set you back anywhere from $5,000 to $30,000 or more if the court cases drags on.

Also, with your marriage expenses divided up you may have to think about contributing to the family more. Make sure you can support your children, and afford a place of your own, before signing on the dotted line.

Even if you’re convinced there’s no future with him, it helps to still hold civilised conversations with him, especially if you have children.

Usually both parties will co-parent and having an amicable relationship with your ex can help a lot with issues like scheduling, holidays, behavioural problems and the like. This can save you time and money in the long-run.

READ MORE:
‘Conscious Uncoupling’: 8 Unusual Celebrity Break-Up Statements
What Happens To Your HDB Flat When You’re Getting Divorced?
Women Share Their Secrets to Keeping Their Marriage Strong

(Text by Aretha Loh and Hoe I Yune, HerWorld Plus / Additional reporting Natalya Molok)