Thinking of yourself as a learner is a great way to relieve the need to be perfect – parents are learning on the job because children are always growing and changing. The truth is, nobody has all the answers. You learn as you go and as your family changes. There are many myths around parenting, including the perception that parenting should come naturally. It often doesn’t so it’s important to seek out reliable information when you need it. It’s also reassuring to know there’s a huge range of ‘normal’ when it comes to children’s behaviour and development, and also parenting styles.
– Warren Cann, Psychologist

Set limits and boundaries but make them about the things that matter rather that wasting energy on things like untidy bedrooms. The important, non-negotiable issues include sex, drugs, alcohol, sleep and curfews. Children need nine hours’ sleep a night and backlit screens suppress the secretion of the sleep-regulating hormone melatonin, so internet access also deserves your attention. It’s easy enough to control by using a wi-fi password generator. This way you can give your child the password as soon as their chores or homework is done. If your child has a smartphone or tablet with internet capability, contact your phone service provider to apply parental controls to online usage.
– Dr Michael Carr-Gregg, author of Strictly Parenting

(Read more: 10 Signs You Could Be Hurting Your Children Without Even Knowing It)

Establishing a strong relationship early on will mean your child will feel comfortable talking to you in details about important issues like school or friendship problems, bullying or sex. No matter how busy your schedule, spend quality time with your child at least once a week. Allow your child to choose the activity, but pick something healthy that you also enjoy and commit to it every week. Beach walks, bike riding, rock climbing or things that require a team effort but not a lot of eye contact are great, especially when it comes time to discuss issues an adolescent might find embarassing.
– Kimberley O’Brien, Child Psychologist

Emotional intelligence is hugely important. Helping your children to know and understand their own emotions makes them aware of other people’s feelings and fosters empathy and compassion. Start by reading with your child every night at bedtime. If possible, pick something other than a school book because that’s considered homework and should be read during their study time. As you read, talk about the characters in the story, whether they seem sad, angry, happy, etc. Also, discuss what can cause similar feelings in your child or other family members. In a world where we often see a ‘my problem is bigger than your problem’ attitude, especially on social media, improving emotional intelligence in our kids could be key to kinder, more humanised adults in the future.
– Nathalie Brown, Child Behaviourist

(Read more: 5 Ways You Can Help Improve Your Child’s Self-Esteem)

We want our kids to have all the good things in life, but that doesn’t mean it’s a good idea to give them everything they want. Parents should understand the difference between being responsive to their children’s needs and indulging them. There are many times your child will experience disappointment – for example, when family rules deny access to popular movies, games or activities; when they’ve been benched by the sport’s coach or overlooked by the teacher who’s choosing the lead for a school project. Instead of leaping into action to fix the situation by relaxing your own rules or making an angry phone call, let your child know that you understand the feelings driving a particular want or need and ask “What should we do next?” It’s surprising how resourceful and resilient children can be when allowed to find their own solutions.
– Dr Justin Coulson, Parenting Researcher

(Text by Larraine Sathicq, Good Health (Bauer) / Additional Reporting by Natalya Molok)