The world has seemed to have set a distinct line between what girls should and shouldn’t do. Women are expected to have children; girls should be better behaved than boys; those who stand up for themselves are ‘bossy’, and the list keeps going on and on.

It’s important that your daughter understands that she doesn’t have to fit into the cookie-cutter role of a ‘woman’. If teachers tell you she’s being ‘rowdy’, get more information on whether she is simply being a child or if she is actually creating issues in class.

Don’t discourage her from running around in the playground with her friends and getting dirty; these are all moments of fun while she’s growing up.

Teach her to ignore those who tell her to ‘act more like a girl’ – there is no set rule for how girls should act. As long as she is kind and a good person, nothing else should matter.

While the statistics show a steady improvement in the mindset of Singaporeans, an IPS study found that 31 per cent of citizens still think that men make better political leaders than women. This is despite research that shows that women are more attuned to the qualities expected of a leader as compared to men.

If your daughter encounters boys who talk over her and refuse to listen to her, remind her to be confident in her thoughts and ideas. Her contributions are valuable and if she sees a better way for her to do things, she should speak her mind. Of course, this doesn’t mean that she should be pushy and insist on her ideas – but she needs to let herself be heard instead of being silenced.

Beauty standards have evolved over the decades and women have always strived to be whatever is in-trend. Research has shown that when young girls are exposed to unrealistic pictures, it can negatively affect their body image. Consuming media showcasing the ‘ideal’ thin body type has also been linked to an increase in eating orders among them as well.

Letting your daughter know that she doesn’t have to conform to beauty standards is an important step to helping her be confident in her looks. It may sound cheesy but remember to tell her that she is beautiful the way she is. And whatever you do – never criticise how she looks.

Remember to always support her and teach her that beauty standards are oftentimes unrealistic and over-glorified.

Makeup can sometimes get a bad rep. Many see makeup as a shield to hide behind. Others think that people use makeup to ‘catfish’. However, it’s more than that.

Some participants in a study shared that putting on cosmetic products made them ready to face the day. It energises the wearer and helps them feel confident in themselves. Most responders also emphasised that they wore makeup for themselves instead of for others. It’s fun, it boosts their mood, and it makes them feel good.

Not only that, many beauty enthusiasts see makeup as a form of art and expressing themselves. Creating new looks with different eyeshadow palettes is only one small part of what makes it so exciting.

However, to truly feel good using makeup, the same study explains that most of the women studied also focused heavily on their inner beauty. One of them says:

Makeup adds positivity and sparkle to your outer image. I’m not saying that makeup is a must to have self-esteem, not at all. You have to be comfortable with your true beauty. You have to feel strong, independent and appreciate the person you have become over your life, to celebrate your accomplishments and work on your goals to better yourself.

Jessica

So the important aspect is to teach your daughter what makeup should be used for; a source of empowerment and not a way to change herself to fit society’s standards.

In a study conducted where Singapore youths were surveyed, 788 of them had been traditionally bullied while 400 were victims of cyberbullying (note: there is some overlap due to those who experienced both). Needless to say, this puts them at risk of mental health problems down the road due to decreased self-esteem.

However, you must teach your daughter to, firstly, not listen to them, and second of all, to come straight to you if she is being bullied. Children may find it hard to share that they are being bullied – they may even be ashamed to say it or not want to trouble their parents altogether.

Yet, she must know that bullying of all forms is unacceptable and that she should share with you should anything happen. Ensure that she knows you always have her back and that you will help her solve the matter quickly.

As your daughter grows, she will slowly grow out from under your wing. She will start to try solving life’s problems by herself and keep secrets from you. In this journal, a large percentage of young children who faced bullying said that they felt the need to solve the situations on their own.

It’s not unusual for this to happen. In fact, it’s simply a part of growing up, and it’s okay to let your daughter fight her own battles.

However, everybody has a breaking point. You must teach her from a young age that if things get too much, you are always there for her to listen and help (if she wants it). Make sure she understands that she can always come to you when things get tough.

A version of this story first appeared on Young Parents.

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