Tempting as it may be, it’s not going to solve the problem. Instead, it’ll probably get the other party on a defensive mode and not listen to what you have to say altogether.

Your focus should be on resolving the issue, not pushing the blame. Pause, think and reflect. If it’s because of your own insecurities or if you are the one at fault, express your feelings to your partner, and apologise.

Why air your dirty laundry on the Internet? It isn’t just embarrassing, it makes it hard for you to take back words said in a moment of anger when it’s out there for all to see.

If you have to talk to someone about it, make it your closest friends or family members.

Raising your voice, or hurling abusive language can only serve to escalate the situation, and also embarrass your partner, especially if you’re in public.

Be mindful of what you say too – deliberately using hurtful remarks will sting long after the fight has been settled.

Plus, a relationship should be one based on love and respect – and verbal abuse is definitely not respecting your partner.

Physical abuse is never alright. Apart from it being an offence, it also creates fear and begets either retaliation or further violence- not the recipe for a healthy relationship.

Fight fair. Bringing up past discords or missteps, especially when you had earlier let the matter rest, breeds resentment.

Shoving it under the rug, or taking responsibility for the blame will build up the bitterness, and one day, you’ll snap – and your spouse won’t even understand where you’re coming from. 

Nobody likes being on the receiving end of emotional blackmail or an ultimatum so don’t be the one to dish it out.

Expressing your feelings is key to a healthy relationship but not at the expense of making your partner feel guilty to get what you want.

Text: Michelle Lee/HerWorldPlus