Over-committed, overloaded, over-scheduled and just plain over it. Yep, the end of the year is often jam-packed with stress. A survey even found that people consider Christmas the sixth most stressful life event, alongside divorce, moving house and changing jobs.
Christmas preparations are stressful enough, even before family members start to arrive and add their ‘colourful’ personalities to the mix.
While we all love our family and accept their foibles and quirks, dealing with the relatives can sometimes be less than joyous during the holiday season.
Here are some tips on how best to keep the peace, and your sanity this festive season:
When you’re exhausted your defences are down, so time-outs are important. Just say to everyone, ‘I’m going to have a little lie-down for a little bit’. Once you have some privacy, take some deep breaths and try not to go over any arguments in your head. Instead, try to put things in perspective and be the best you can be when you rejoin the group.
Self-awareness is essential. Ask yourself, ‘What is my part in all of this?’. ‘What is the tone of my voice? And what about my raised eyebrows?’. Once you change your behaviour, then it will change your dynamic with others as they can no longer tap into your old reactions.
It sounds obvious, but it’s not always easy – especially if something is said that makes you feel defensive. Luckily, it’s possible to get everyone on the same page. Maintain an open mind and ask more questions to clarify what they are really saying. Questions like, ‘What do you mean by that?’ and, ‘Can you give me a specific example?’ can be very helpful.
When we haven’t seen people all year, then we sit in the same room for hours on end with alcohol and heavy food, is it any wonder that problems start? To reduce the risk, suggest an activity such as playing board games, going for a walk, watching a movie – or even enjoying a nap!
This year, take the pressure down. Whether that means delegating tasks to relatives, swapping a turkey for fresh seafood to avoid being in the kitchen all day, or running a Secret Santa to save money, tell yourself that near enough can be good enough.
It’s scientifically proven that showing gratitude contributes to our overall wellbeing. In fact, it’s one of the greatest contributing factors to happiness, according to a University of Pennsylvania study. So if you’re feeling exhausted, adopt a daily gratitude practice where you write down three things you’re grateful for.
It can be one of the hardest words to say, especially if you’re someone who’s prone to people-pleasing. But for the sake of pre-Christmas sanity, it’s time to add “no” to your vocabulary. Whether that means not approving plus ones at a Christmas gathering or disallowing your kids and their cousins to have another helping of sweets, saying no can do wonders for your sanity.
If faced with criticism, the most helpful stance is one of acknowledgement. This doesn’t mean agreeing with the person but it does mean hearing their complaint and verbalising that: ‘I can hear that you are very upset and think I never wash up at Christmas parties. I didn’t realise how much that bothered you.’ The effect of a good acknowledgement can be astounding!
Stressing that you should shed a few kilos before the food and drink bonanza really kicks off?
First up, forget dieting! Instead, focus on getting in plenty of fruit and vegetables and moving your body for at least 20 minutes everyday.
Need more great tips? Drink two large glasses of water each morning as soon as you get up. Eat meals from a smaller bowl or plate than normal – that way your mind will think you’re eating more than you are – and don’t go back for seconds. Enjoy the feeling of being satisfied rather than overly full.
According to Harvard research, slowing down your breathing with yoga, meditation or relaxation tapes can relieve anxiety and feelings of stress.
But if the thought of squeezing something else into your pre-Christmas timetable is too much right now, a simple breathing exercise can work wonders – and it takes just seconds!
Breathe in for four seconds and hold for four seconds, then breathe out for four seconds. Do this four times. It’s guaranteed to bring you down a notch or two.