Unlike regular people, celebrities have to draft an actual statement declaring their relationship failure to the whole world, which will result in the immediate freaking-out of the internet. Sure, they have help from publicists in choosing their words and dealing with the fallout, but for the most part celebrity statements about the state of their romances are just plain weird. Take a look at a few here:
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Perhaps the most famous divorce statement in history: Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin’s. The phrase “conscious uncoupling” may follow them to the grave, but people couldn’t stop talking about the idea, in part, because it was so different from the norm.
Pop superstar Katy Perry and her actor beau Orlando Bloom announced they were putting the brakes on their relationship by taking a page out of Gwynnie’s book: “Before rumours or falsifications get out of hand we can confirm that Orlando and Katy are taking respectful, loving space at this time,” their joint statement says.
In contrast, Katy’s ex-husband’s statements about their split was normal by celebrity standards. In 2011, Brand released a heartfelt statement, saying, “Sadly, Katy and I are ending our marriage. I will always adore her and I know we’ll remain friends.”
When announcing their divorce, after 13 years of marriage, Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale issued what can seem like a standard statement: “While the two of us have come to the mutual decision that we will no longer be partners in marriage, we remain partners in parenthood and are committed to jointly raising our three sons in a happy and healthy environment.” But the statement is noticeably emotionless and business-like.
Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck pull a bit more at the romantic heartstrings: “After much thought and careful consideration, we have made the difficult decision to divorce.” But the civility does feel strained and it belies the years and years of rumours about Affleck’s cheating.
In November 2011, Demi Moore announced with “great sadness and a heavy heart” that she was ending her marriage to Kutcher after six years. “As a woman, a mother and a wife, there are certain values and vows that I hold sacred, and it is in this spirit that I have chosen to move forward with my life,” Moore said at the time.
In their announcement, Miranda Lambert and Blake Shelton acknowledged the feeling of failure that accompanies divorce, “This is not the future we envisioned. It is with heavy hearts that we move forward separately. We are real people, with real lives, with real families, friends and colleagues.”
Singer Jewel wrote a particularly striking blog post when she separated from husband Ty Murray last year. “We did not want anger to burn the ties that bound us. Instead we have chosen the much more difficult task of undoing ourselves stitch by stitch, and releasing each other with love so that we may take on our new form: dear friends and devoted co-parents of our beloved son Kase.”