Can’t seem to orgasm with just penetrative sex? You’re not alone. According to a poll of 1,000 women by the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, 80 per cent of the respondents reported not being able to orgasm from penetrative sex. Sexual pleasure is important, and if you want to have more orgasms, here’s something worth trying for: blended orgasms.
What is a blended orgasm?
Ever had your clitoris stimulated while being penetrated? That’s one way of achieving a blended orgasm. Simply put, it’s a climax you get when two erogenous zones are stimulated at the same time.
“While we all experience pleasure and sensation differently, people often report that blended orgasms feel like a more intense, full-body experience that can be felt deep within the body. They can invoke leg-trembling, eye-rolling, sound-inducing responses,” says sex educator and coach, Georgia Grace, who is also a We-Vibe ambassador.
“This increased intensity can simply be attributed to the dual stimulation, increasing access to more varied pleasure,” she adds. Scroll down to read more about what you can do to get the most intense orgasm of your life.
As mentioned earlier, a blended orgasm is achieved when two erogenous zones are stimulated at the same time. Having your g-spot and clitoris stimulated at the same time is one way. You can also try these combinations: the clitoris and nipples, the g-spot and a-spot (the anterior fornix erogenous zone that is located inside the vagina, between your cervix and bladder), or the clitoris and neck.
Sex is different for everybody, so sexual exploration is key.
“There are many pathways to a blended orgasm… For some, this means using their hands alone. For others, it’ll be asking their partner to stimulate certain erogenous zones in the way they desire, and some may choose to experiment with vibrators,” explains Georgia.
“I’m a huge fan of exploring vibrators as they can allow for different experiences of pleasure, they’re fun, they allow you to try something new and they can also help build arousal. In the case of blended orgasms, the We-Vibe Nova 2 is the ideal toy as it is designed to reach both the g-spot and clitoris at the same time with ease,” says Georgia.
The We-Vibe Nova 2 is a re-imagination of the rabbit vibrator. It maintains constant clitoral contact and has an ergonomic design which pairs an upgraded adjustable internal arm (to cater to varied body shapes) with a soft and flexible clitoral stimulator that flexes with every thrust without slipping out of place.
“Think of toys as an addition to your sexual experiences. They aren’t there to replace your partner nor will they kill the vibe. Rather, they can make sex even better,” Georgia adds.
The We-Vibe Nova 2 is retailing at $210.
Blended orgasms can be slightly trickier with a partner as they require you to be very in tune with your body, observes Georgia.
“But, with good communication, curiosity and presence, anything can happen. Toys can also help in this regard – it frees up you and your partner’s hands, which means you could potentially have four hands on you, stimulating many erogenous zones,” she adds.
Having some trouble? Here’s what Georgia suggests:
- With one hand, fingers or your vibrator, start to stimulate the clitoris. Find a technique that is most arousing for you. Use your fingers or palm to provide pressure in a repetitive motion, moving back and forth or in a circular motion.
- The more aroused you are, the easier and more pleasurable it’ll be to find and stimulate your g-spot. When you’re ready, insert the g-spot stimulator, adjusting the positioning until you find pleasure. To find your g-spot, insert fingers into your vagina using a come hither motion, and hook your finger/s upward toward your belly button. When you’re aroused, your g-spot will be engorged and supple.
- Explore the vibration settings for the clitoral and g-spot stimulators separately and together; and as your arousal builds, explore pressure, speed, and rhythm.
- As you feel your arousal build start stimulating your clitoris and g-spot at the same time, moving rhythmically, with your desired pressure and speed. Remember to take things at your own pace and follow where the pleasure takes you.
- Don’t forget to breathe, move, sound and touch yourself — this is where the ergonomic handle of the Nova 2 comes in handy, as it frees up one hand and allows you to stimulate other erogenous zones, like your nipples or stomach!
The most important thing is to take orgasm off the cards and not put too much pressure on yourself.
“Any time there’s more pressure than pleasure, you’ll be thinking rather than feeling, and if you’re not feeling, you probably won’t be embodied enough to experience any sensation, let alone pleasure,” cautions Georgia.
“Instead, come back to your body, rid yourself of expectations, and follow your curiosity and pleasure.”
But of course! “We have many erogenous zones on, in, and around our body. That means everyone has the mechanics for a blended orgasm by experimenting with various combinations of stimulation,” explains Georgia.
For starters, try a combination of stimulating his penis and nipples, or his penis and neck. Again, the possibilities are endless here as both of you explore all the different erogenous zones.
“It is really about experimenting, and identifying what works best for your body.”