It’s really frustrating when you are trying to get your household chores completed and your baby keeps screaming for you. Much as you want your little one to love you and enjoy your company, you don’t want them clinging to you every moment of the day. You want them to have enough confidence to be on their own for at least a few minutes. Keep reading to find out why this might happen and how you can handle a clingy baby or toddler with input from child psychologist Dr. Richard C. Woolfson.
There are many possible explanations as to why your baby is so clingy. It could be because the emotional connection between you and your little one is now firmly established and the strength of this bond makes them want to be with you all the time.
There will be times when she experiences anxiety at the prospect of separating from you. For instance, when your baby is left in the care of an unfamiliar adult. And while you know you’ll only be in the next room for a couple of seconds – and you understand how fast this takes – your baby doesn’t understand this. They feel vulnerable when they’re alone.
However, sometimes, your baby clings to you out of habit rather than any deep-rooted psychological needs. This is what psychologists describe as “learned helplessness”.
In other words, consider the possibility that your child has learned that by clinging to you, you will fuss over them and give them all the attention. Here’s what you should do to help your clingy baby become more independent and confident.
Make up your mind that your baby will become more independent. Remind yourself that your child won’t come to any psychological harm from playing on their own for five or 10 minutes.
Your baby is likely to be happy for longer without you if she is surrounded by a variety of toys that are well within their reach. Once your child is actively engaged in play, tell them that you’ll be in the next room and that you’ll be back in a minute.
When you hear your child cry out the moment you leave them to go into the next room, don’t immediately rush to them. You’ll find this easier to manage if you can still see them in the other room. Wait as long as you can.
If they continues to cry and you do eventually go to comfort them, make sure you have a big smile on your face. This reassures your child and signals that you are not upset by their behaviour. Stay for a few seconds and then return to the other room.
Your baby may be furious when they realise that you no longer stay with them the moment the first tear falls. But persist with this course of action despite their protests. You’ll find that, within a few weeks, your baby will be much less clingy.
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