From separation anxiety to a drastic change in environment, heading into childcare is a tense period for any toddler. And if your tot hasn’t acclimatised to the change yet, here are six questions to ask yourself that will help you understand their unease better and help you make the transition easier for them.
If they have never been very sociable with others their own age (for instance, they are usually withdrawn when they attend a party), then their behaviour probably has nothing to do with the childcare centre. They might simply be shy by nature.
But if they are normally outgoing, vivacious and friendly, then they are probably troubled by something. Try to find out what that could be.
Your tot’s language skills are still developing but, even so, they can communicate some feelings. So ask them about their likes and dislikes, the other children and teachers.
Although they may not be able to tell you exactly what upsets them there, you might get some ideas from your discussion. Moreover, your interest and attention will make them feel good about themselves.
A two-year-old who has been cared for by, say, a helper or a babysitter while you and your spouse are at work is more likely to cope better at the centre, as compared to a child who has no experience of temporary separation from their parents.
If this is their first break from you, perhaps they need a bit more time to adjust.
It might also help if they spend time with someone else on weekends (for instance, with Grandma and Grandpa).
If you have a positive attitude about childcare, they will eventually become more enthusiastic.
Tell them about all the wonderful activities they will take part in the centre while you’re on the way there. Make the separation from you brief, give them a reassuring hug and then leave.
When you pick them up, don’t focus on their distress – instead, ask them about what they enjoyed and whom they played with.
Some children need more coaxing than others to mix with their peers. Their teachers should make a regular and persistent effort to include them in group activities. They might also allocate some of the friendliest children to play with them every day.
A child who worries about their family may be reluctant to leave home, just in case, something bad happens while they are away (for example, if you and your spouse had a fight in front of them, or if they have a very ill relative to whom they are very close).
If you think that could be a factor, give them lots of reassurance that everything will be fine and they have no need to worry.
This article was first published in Young Parents.