He likes to hear you say it, loud and clear. And don’t be fooled by his nonchalant manner – he’s delighted; he just wants to appear cool.

The approving comments, glances (and occasional tangible reward) from a loving grandparent can have a huge impact on the way he feels and are great confidence boosters. It doesn’t matter whether he’s there to hear it, as long as he knows you will praise him before Grandma.

Confidence partly stems from knowing he’s improved, whatever it is – running, jumping, climbing, learning the names of colours and so on. Young children are not very good at making judgments of progress on their own and so he relies on you to do this for him.

Use fridge magnets to show off his paintings in the kitchen. Or you might decide to hang them on a small line of string against the wall. Displaying his work shows you are proud of him and builds his self-esteem.

Of course as parents, it’s your job to spend time with him, but if you tell him that, those experiences become much more meaningful. Make it clear, for instance, that you had fun when you were out at the park, even if you were only watching.

Whatever he is good at – and every kid excels at something – let him know that you recognise his talent, whether it’s skating or completing jigsaws. Your attention makes him feel good about himself. It also helps him become conscious of skills and abilities that he might not realise he has.

Your child wants to be popular, liked by others his own age. This makes him feel important. So make a clear statement about his friends, emphasising that he has lots of pals. It doesn’t really matter if you exaggerate a little.

No matter how much he bickers or fights with his siblings, he still wants to be valued and loved by them. Petty arguments can get in the way of affection, so it’s up to you to highlight the positive feelings. He loves to hear that his brothers or sisters are proud of him.

He faces new learning challenges all the time. For instance, the prospect of climbing up to the next level on the climbing frame can seem very frightening, as can the thought of entering a large swimming pool. You can help bolster his self-belief by saying you have faith in his ability to achieve his target.

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