Making friends can be a challenge for some children, especially for those who are an only child. They may be spoilt, lack confidence or have difficulty developing the necessary social skills. But there are ways you can help teach your child to overcome their fears and make friends.
One of the most important tips to improve your child’s social skills is to support his or her friendships with both kids and adults. Exposing your children to different kinds of people and encouraging them to communicate and interact can eliminate their social anxiety and awkwardness.
Encourage your child to look at your eyes when you two talk. When he is focused on your face, he can see your expressions change. (Make sure your eyes are on him when he speaks to you, too.) Ask him what your expressions mean. If he doesn’t know, explain the message you were sending.
Give your child your full attention when you’re talking to her. By doing so, you’re setting a great example. Save texting and checking your email for another time. Try not to let your mind wander. If you notice your child spacing off when you’re speaking to her, gently guide her back: “Can you please look at my face when I’m talking to you?”
Related: How Not To Raise A Spoilt Brat
Help your child realise how expressive her own face can be. This can help her notice other people’s facial expressions. You might say, “Your eyebrows are raised. Are you feeling surprised?” or “That’s a big smile. Tell me what you’re so happy about.”
Help your child begin to see what the people around her are “saying” with their bodies. Playing charades can be a fun way to get kids thinking about communicating through their bodies. Also, point out the behaviour of the people you see: “The man in that line is tapping his foot and fidgeting. How do you think he feels?” Talk through how characters on TV are feeling based on their body language.
How your child talks on the playground to friends shouldn’t be the same as how she’d address the principal. Kids who have trouble with social cues might not realise this. Talk with your child about the different people he interacts with regularly.
Some kids have trouble noticing changes in voice, sometimes called inflections. When that happens, your child might miss a bigger message because she’s taking speech too literally. So help her notice nuances in pitch and tone. Talk through how the same statement (for example, “Can you please get the mail”) can be a simple request or an angry demand, depending on how you say it.
If your child can read aloud well, have her read to you regularly. Choose stories that have lots of dialogue. That way she can practice changing her voice depending on how the character is feeling or what he’s trying to say. If your child doesn’t read well, you can read stories to her that have lots of dialogue or take out an audiobook from the library.
Kids who have trouble with social cues can benefit from practicing everyday interactions. Try role-playing different situations with your child. Respond to things he says or does using body language and expressions. Ask your child what messages you’re sending out and how he might react to them.
Related: How To Bring The Best Out Of Your Only Child
Text: Bauer/ Good Health/ Additional Reporting: Shenielle Aloysis