Making social comparisons is a natural part of life and it is how we build our self-identity, starting from a young age. Children however, have a hard time distinguishing between needs and wants, says Desiree Wee, a clinical psychologist at the Institute of Mental Health. They feel that they “absolutely” must have what their friends have. They may feel inadequate actually when they do not seem to live up to society’s standards, she adds.

Never ignore your child’s request. This would suggest to him that his needs are not important to you, say experts. Teach children that they do not need to have or do everything their friends do. Model how to be happy with what you have. For instance, say something like, “I know you feel frustrated when you can’t have an iPad. But we have a television to watch movies and I really love our time together.”

Desiree shares that children bully for various reasons. Research has found that children who bully may have poor academic performance and risk developing depression. She adds that this aggressive behaviour puts them at risk of poor pro-social skills, smoking and alcohol use, and delinquency in the long run.

Remain calm, as these children have difficulty controlling their aggression and need to see you model good ways of handling conflicts. Talk to your child about walking away when she gets angry and seek help from the school counsellor if you need support in teaching your child anger management strategies.

Try to reduce your child’s exposure to violent shows, cartoons and games. And you can go to websites such as www.bullyfree.sg, which has activities and videos that parents can use to discuss bullying with their children.

Donus Loh, psychologist and director of W3ave Singapore, says: “These children could be introverts, passive when it comes to conflict and poorer in social skills compared to their peers. Over time, these affected children may think of themselves as weak and helpless, and this can lead to very low self-esteem and depression.

Be patient with your child if they’re a victim of bullying. “It may take a while for them to open up and talk about their feelings and experiences,” says Donus. Should you decide to speak to your child’s school, document all incidents with dates before you do so.  Check on the school’s anti-bullying policy and explore how you can support its efforts when working with your child.

It is important to find out why your child cheated. “It may be an indication that he feels pressure to do well academically or to conform to his group of friends,” says Desiree.

Explain the consequences of his actions and how cheating affects other students who have tried their best in exams and the teachers who have put in effort to draw up the exam questions. Praise and reward your child for being honest and courageous when he stands up to peer pressure.

Some parents think that calling them ‘lazy’ or ‘stupid’ will motivate their kids, but usually it does the opposite. A child will feel greatly demotivated, and may even cause him to link poor grades with a negative character, say experts.

Parents should also ask their child how they feel about their academic results. You should not judge until you have sufficient information, say experts.

Every so often, your child will have a teacher with whom he just can’t seem to get along. Sometimes it’s a simple personality conflict; other times, your child is having difficulty responding to authority. I think that the very first thing to do for your child in this situation is validate how he feels. But do not undermine the teacher’s authority. Once your child has been heard, he’ll be more receptive to hearing your ideas about what he can do to make the situation better.

Meet with the teacher and share what your child’s experience has been. You will want to try to find some middle ground if at all possible. You might also want to bring in another administrator or official, like the school social worker, to this meeting. This will keep things civil and give you some support should you need it later.