It’s every parent’s nightmare: instead of being in capable hands when they’re dropped off at the childcare centre, your child is instead being hit, scolded, and physically forced to do things they don’t want to do.
This was the case with the recent incident of abuse and misconduct that happened at a childcare centre in Woodlands, where a teacher was filmed on different occasions smacking children and forcing their head back to drink water. The parents of the children involved had no idea that this was going on in school until the videos had circulated online, as their kids were still too young to express what was happening and the incidents had been downplayed by the centre.
How do you know if something similar might be happening to your child? Here’s how to spot the warning signs and prevent your little one from becoming an innocent victim.
When you pick up your child from childcare, does he seem relieved, as though he’s been waiting for you to show up and rescue him? Your child may, naturally, be happy to see you — but if his anxiety is palpable, with signs of wanting to leave quickly or needing comfort, there may be something amiss. Observe how he interacts with his teacher as well. If he refuses to acknowledge her or is visibly afraid, it’s a sign that something is wrong.
The same goes for when you’re dropping off your child. Separation anxiety is normal for young kids, but if they are consistently and extremely distressed, they may be trying to tell you that they don’t want to be here.
During bathtime or a change of clothes, be sure to regularly check your little one’s body. There shouldn’t be bruises and scratches that show up repeatedly. An isolated mark here and there is probably nothing to worry about, but it’s a bad sign when there are many such marks, or if your child flinches when you check them.
A well-trained teacher would volunteer information about scratches and bruises, which could be the result of playing. If the teachers fail to mention multiple marks or downplays them, it could mean they have something to hide.
Communicate regularly with your child’s teachers, even if you aren’t the one dropping him off at childcare. Call them to check in once in a while, even while you’re at work, if you have any worries regarding your child. Voice your concerns in a polite and pleasant manner, so the teachers don’t feel like they’re being nagged or interrogated. If the teachers seem to resent the calls or appear brusque, it means the centre doesn’t have your kid’s interests — or yours — at heart.
Most of us know our fellow childcare parents only by face when we meet at drop-off and pick-up times, but befriending them can be very beneficial. Often, most parents are rushing off to work during the morning drop-off, but when possible, do stay and talk to them once in a while during evening pick-ups. It’s a great chance to find out if other parents are satisfied with the centre, and if their children are happy there. If you have concerns, see if the other parents agree with you, so you can approach the situation together.
As a parent, you know your child best, and should be aware of his usual temperament, routine and behaviour. If something seems ‘off’ (e.g. he is more distant than usual, exhibits anti-social behaviour or seems fearful), this should be a warning sign that something could be wrong at daycare. Ultimately, trust your instincts as your child will communicate with you through his actions, and not necessarily through words.