Coping with the uncertainty around COVID-19 is challenging for most adults, but for children, they may be having an even tougher time coping with the disruption brought on by the pandemic. Social isolation, being off school for an extended period of time, getting thrown off schedules, having to wear masks constantly and difficulty in understanding what all of it means is just some of the reasons young children (and their parents) may have anxiety at this time.
We asked Dr Elaine Kim, co-founder and CEO of Trehaus, to share her insights on her experiences as a mother and entrepreneur. Here are 5 tips on how to help your children cope during a pandemic.
Just like how you would put your own oxygen mask before assisting your child in the case of an airplane emergency, the same logic applies when it comes to parenting and anxiety. Dr Kim shares, “It will be challenging to address your child’s anxiety if you don’t feel in control of your own fears. It is crucial to check in on yourself and identify your own anxiety if any, as the anxiousness will be picked up on by the little ones. Try and identify the sources of concern – whether it may be financial stress, a lack of personal space or being overwhelmed by 24/7 parenting, and write down a plan to address them.”
Aside from acknowledging the anxiety and stress, “make sure you have a good social support network and reach out to loved ones, friends, and your community to share your anxieties and seek their help. Don’t be embarrassed to ask them to check in on you to ensure you are coping well. Prioritise self-care and don’t feel guilty about taking time to rest, relax, and look after yourself. Recognise that you need to be in a good place yourself to be a good parent to your child.”
During the pandemic, it is more important than ever to maintain regular bedtimes, mealtimes, and keep to routines in your family. They create a sense of order to each day, and this offers a calming reassurance to the young ones in these very uncertain times. Having regular exercise together is another habit that everyone can benefit from.
“At the same time, remember that all children benefit from routines that are predictable yet flexible enough to meet individual needs, so allow leeway in your daily schedule to adapt as needed. If schools are open (our preschool Trehaus School has been open since Phase 1, with all Covid-safe measures firmly in place), returning to the routine of going to school restores a sense of normalcy which is reassuring too.”
From the constant reminders through the daily COVID-19 case numbers to personal finance stresses to battling with kids who are repeatedly pulling off their masks in public, there are certainly lots of triggers that make it hard to stay positive in a pandemic, especially as a parent.
Dr Kim explains, “Younger children may not have the words to describe their feelings and can express stress, anxiety, or fear through their behavior (which can, in turn, upset parents more, particularly if they are already stressed). As such we can’t stress the importance of practising empathy and positivity in these times. Provide a safe space for them to share their feelings and thoughts. Ask them questions to help them identify and label their emotions. Let them know you are always there for them and love them. Practice gratitude and thankfulness and try and point out the silver lining in every situation.”
With work-from-home practices being the new norm, many families are finding that one positive outcome of this pandemic is that reduced work travel and fewer social engagement lead to more time spent with family. But there is a difference between the time spent at home and the quality time spent with the family.
Dr Kim urges, “Even with everyone home together more, it’s a good idea as well to set aside some special time with each individual child. You choose the time and let your child choose the activity. Just 10 or 20 minutes of your undivided attention, even if it is only once every few days, will mean a lot to your little one. Keep cell phones off or on silent so you don’t get distracted.”
Thich Nhat Hanh May once said “Our calm is contagious”, and as we try to navigate our anxiety about the pandemic, this quote holds some wisdom. Children pick up a lot more than we’re aware of, and they can pick up on your calmness or your anxiety.
Dr Kim shares, “Now is a good opportunity to learn about and practice mindfulness, picking up habits like meditation and mindfulness, or if you are a person of faith, finding peace and strength through prayer. Creating the right environment also plays a part in maintaining a calm frame of mind. In Trehaus school, for example, we pay utmost care in creating a light-filled, calm, and cheerful environment for our children, that is most conducive for learning and positivity.”