The start of preschool may be more difficult for them if they have hardly spent time away from you. You should try to drop them off with Grandma and Grandpa for a few hours, or leave them with one of your trusted friends for an afternoon. Such separations get them used to not having you by their side all the time and prepares them for preschool.

It can be quite challenging for kids to mix with others their own age if they isn’t used to it. That’s why it is helpful to take them to toddler playgroups long before you think about enrolling them in a preschool. Every interaction with peers builds their resilience for meeting the social demands of preschool.

You could also try taking them to playgrounds and encouraging them to play with the other kids. It might be challenging for them to approach other children to befriend them at first, but you could help them out by giving them examples of how they can introduce themselves. Get them to role-play introducing themselves and asking to play together with you for practice – and if they’re still nervous, remind them that chances are, other kids at the playground are equally nervous as well.

If your toddler has played with their peers already, you’ll have been able to observe their social skills. Even at this young age, some children are more socially adept than others. Encourage them to share their toys and to take turns, where possible. The gradual development of social skills prepares them for preschool, ensuring that they mix well with others.

Attending preschool involves many different changes for your tot. For example, they will have to meet new people, adapt to a new building and follow new routines. All these changes make preschool life interesting, but at the same time can appear threatening. Some children cope better with changes than others.

To ease the adjustment, it’s helpful to take them on a tour of the school a few days beforehand. Having a discussion about what they can expect and what’s going to change might also help prepare them for their new routine.

Toddlers vary in their level of shyness – even the most outgoing 18-month-old can become anxious when meeting unfamiliar strangers for the first time. Maybe your little one smiles and chats happily with anyone they meet. If so, they’ll regard the start to playgroup as an exciting opportunity. But if they hide behind you, or refuse to respond whenever an unfamiliar adult tries to engage them, playgroup may unsettle them at first.

Managing intense emotions is difficult for tots – that’s why they tend to explode with rage the moment something doesn’t go their way. Aggressive tantrums are common at this age. Unfortunately, however, a toddler who lashes out the moment they can’t get what they want may find themselves socially isolated in playgroup. As a result, they could feel lonely and excluded.

Preschool teachers understand that the typical toddler is attention-seeking, and they do their best to give each child the attention that they need. Yet there are limits. A child who demands attention at home whenever they want will also expect the same support level from the teachers. When that doesn’t happen – because the teachers lots of children to care for – they may become distressed.

Separation anxiety is common for young kids, but some have it worse than others. This means that sometimes, no matter how much you’ve tried to prepare your child in advance, the waterworks will come when it’s time for you to say goodbye at the school gate. This can last for weeks, or even months.

If this happens, make sure that they have teachers at the preschool who understand their needs and support them. Have a talk with the school teachers – they’ve probably seen many of such cases.

It can also be helpful to have a chat with your child and their teachers to find out what things are like in school. Do they enjoy school? Do they get along well with their friends and teachers? In many cases, kids cry at drop-off, but stop a few minutes after their parents leave, and are more than happy to go on with their day.

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This was first published in Young Parents.
Additional Reporting: Jesslyn Lye, June 2022