I love kids and have always wanted to have my own.

What was your pregnancy journey like?

It was full of high and low moments. After my miscarriage in 2020, I tried to get pregnant again but it was really stressful for both my hubby and me.

We were worried that there might be another miscarriage or that there was something wrong with either of our health, such as the possibility that one of us was infertile, etc.

I only found out I had a miscarriage on the day I started bleeding. I was really disappointed and sad when it happened. The gynae mentioned that the miscarriage was highly likely due to my diet and work stress, but that it could also be due to pure luck. Sometimes the DNA mix just doesn’t work out because something in the fertilisation process went wrong, which is a common cause of miscarriages.

How did you cope with the loss? Who/what helped you the most?

My husband helped me most to cope with the loss. He took some time off work to spend time with me, cooked my favourite dishes, and even helped put in place a “workout plan” to help me get fitter and stronger. He helped distract me from thinking about the miscarriage or trying for a baby again. He wanted me to focus on myself.

My in-laws were very caring and helpful too. My mother-in-law ordered a confinement meal package (which can also be for post-miscarriage) for me and cooked lots of soups to help nourish me back to health.

It was just very worrying. The main concern was whether there was something wrong with our health and whether we were infertile or not.

My friends and family were very supportive. They sent gifts to helped nourish my health and visited me only after I felt that I was ready to meet them again.

When he grows older, I’ll share with him if he asks about it.

Cry your heart out, but don’t give up. Once you’re ready to stop grieving, pick yourself up again and don’t ever forget that your partner still matters the most to you.

The most stressful period was my first one to two months into motherhood.

In just two months, I had mastitis three times.

It was challenging trying to nurse my baby while having painful, engorged breasts. I had to pump every one or two hours due to overproduction of milk. I also had bouts of high fever for weeks and had to be on antibiotics again and again.

During that period, my husband tried his best to help but he was down with dengue and very ill too. We couldn’t ask for help from our in-laws as they were in Europe at that time.

Whether my baby would be healthy if I just relied on formula milk instead of breast milk, so that I could have made a more informed decision about breastfeeding before giving birth.

That knowledge would have made me consider not breastfeeding my baby since he was a healthy newborn.

I love being able to enjoy every moment with my son; to see him smile, laugh, cry, grow, overcome obstacles and learn, enjoy food, and play with my husband every single day.

Going to the doctor to get medication for eczema on my hands caused by the HFMD virus that both my son and I caught (most likely from his infant care schoolmate).

I would like my husband to be more patient when I’m taking more time to soothe my baby when he is unwell.

I would also like him to respect my decision to rest early during weeks when both my work and caring for the baby become more difficult. I know it can occasionally eat into my time with my husband but I really need the rest to have the energy to do the mum duties.

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