To expand our family and have generations after us. I guess it boils down to leaving a legacy after us. Something that is a bit permanent; the family line on both sides can continue, in that sense.

How did you feel about having kids, before you became a mum?

I’ve always loved kids so I’ve always wanted them.

Their love is pure and they teach us lessons we adults sometimes tend to forget; like how to appreciate the little things and moments. Or even having the ability to laugh at ourselves and be fearless.

I was actually strangely calm about it. I had a feeling that she was going to be okay, that she was in safe hands, and that she would be fine. My husband, on the other hand, was extremely worried and researched a lot on how high levels of jaundice and phototherapy might impact her.

How was your mental health during that period?

The first two days she was in NICU (and after I gave birth), I was doing fine until the lactation consultant mentioned something to me that opened the floodgates. She probably didn’t realise it or meant anything by it as well, but I felt the impact of what she said.

She was trying to encourage me and was advising that my milk supply would increase once the baby was discharged and able to latch properly.

I distinctively remember her saying how it must have been tough for me not being able to latch my baby more after she was born, that I didn’t have enough skin-to-skin contact before she was whisked off to NICU, and that I was a good mother for enduring physical pain to hand-express my colostrum for her to get better.

Her words and their full impact hit me hard, and I burst into tears after she left.

My husband, our families and prayer.

How did your family help you during your pregnancy?

My husband gave me regular foot massages cos my feet were so swollen, and he made fresh smoothies every morning in the first trimester until my morning sickness kicked in in week 10! He made a special blend of kale, coconut water, honey, chia seeds, blueberries, avocado and everything healthy!

My family, including my mother-in-law, chipped in with household chores, cooking, and running some errands, all of which may seem very trivial and nothing over the top, but it’s these little things that really were appreciated.

With the festive season approaching, what’s on your wishlist this Christmas?

Being able to fit into my pre-pregnancy clothes, haha! On a slightly more serious note, good health and happiness.

Any special plans to celebrate the upcoming Christmas and New Year with your little one?

We are likely going to spend it with family; we have some extended family who’ve yet to meet our baby. And we are looking forward to the festive season because it will be her first of many with us.

I would say the initial period of being a first-time mum since you’re trying to recover physically, emotionally and mentally, and still have to take care of another human being and try to understand her cues because she can’t speak yet. But once you get the hang of things and you establish a relationship with your baby, things get easier.

What would you say is the hardest thing about being a mum?

Being a mum can sometimes be a very lonely journey which no one tells you about, and no book prepares you for no matter how much support you have. Every day has a new challenge, despite the joy being a mum brings.

What are your biggest concerns about parenting?

That I am doing it wrong. Every parent wants to make sure they do right by their child so that they raise them well!

Whenever I leave her at home to head out for a date night with my husband or resume my dance classes, I feel the #mumguilt even though I know time apart from my baby and for myself is a good thing. I can’t pour from an empty cup; I need to constantly remind myself of that.

How about a recent motherhood moment that made you smile?

Every day I am smiling when I spend time with my daughter. Every minute we have with her is precious, especially since we both work.

What kind of mum do you aspire to be?

A mum that my children can confide in, and share their secrets, their happiness and their sorrows. A mum that they know will always be there for them. A mum that tries her best to provide a safe, clean and happy home together with dad.

How has motherhood changed you as a person?

I’ve learnt to let go of things/people that make me upset/unhappy, and that what is most important at this stage of my life is spending time with my daughter and not missing out on moments/milestones with her.

What do you love most about being a mum?

I loved being pregnant, I love being a mum – every aspect of it! It is so fulfilling and such a blessing to be able to have a child and to try your best to give them the best.

What did you love about being pregnant?

I had a relatively easy pregnancy except for the morning sickness in the first trimester and the sore back in the last trimester.

I loved how pregnancy made me look, I loved hearing her heartbeat and watching her progress every time we went for a check-up, and I loved feeling her kicks. I also loved knowing that I was blessed to be able to carry something so precious for those nine months.

It has definitely changed. In the first three to six months, my entire existence seemed to be for my child, and at times I may have even neglected my husband. But we communicate about it a lot, we plan for date nights and head out for movies, social dancing (we met through dance!), and we recently took a family trip together with our baby.

Have you and your partner had different parenting approaches? How did you deal with that?

Yes and no. We both believe that we should let our child(ren) be exposed to as many new things as they can. To try new experiences, new foods, engage in sports, read, and pick up anything that interests them. But I am a little bit more structured in the sense that I try to stick to her schedule for the day, but my husband sort of goes with the flow. We try to meet in the middle and remind ourselves that the priority is still our baby.

When it comes to motherhood/parenting, what kind of support would you like more of?

I’d like more support from the work front, where I don’t have to feel guilty about leaving work early to pick up my child from infant care (even though I come into the office earlier than usual).

The #mumguilt of going back to work and leaving your child in the hands of strangers is already enough.

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