Having kids has always been a life that my husband and I looked forward to having, and to us is a natural progression after getting married.

I always knew I would have my own family at some point in time when the timing felt right.

The first three months postpartum were tough as everything was new, and I felt I needed to perfectly care for my baby while learning how to at the same time. Right up until now with a five-month-old baby, we have experienced the ‘bottle strike’ and sleep regression, both of which tested my limits.

What do you wish you knew before becoming a mum?

That the fourth trimester is the most challenging. Whatever is said about fourth trimester challenges is true – from needing to physically recover from the delivery to learning how to care for another life. And of course, I had to deal with new emotions, anxiousness, and doubts about whether I was doing things right. All of that was overwhelming. I am glad I have come out of it and am in a better mental state now.

I was very self-aware that I was not coping well with the blues and anxiety.

I made sure to constantly communicate my thoughts and feelings with Adrian so that he could keep me in check before I went into a downward spiral. He paid extra attention to my emotions and physical needs.

What advice would you give to others who are going through the same anxiety during the fourth trimester?

Talk to other mums, seek help to lighten your load, and be sure to involve your husband in the care of your baby.

To rely more on my mummy friends and seek help without hesitation and guilt – from difficulties such as breastfeeding to what my baby should wear, as well as sleep training and wanting time for myself.

What’s your take on the World Health Organization’s recommendation to breastfeed for up to two years or more?

Those are just guidelines.

I believe every mum has the right to choose what is best for herself and her baby. For me, I am committed to breastfeeding for as long as my body allows me to, and for as long as it is practical to do so. It does not matter how closely I align myself with those recommendations.

Why do you want to breastfeed Zachary for as long as possible?

Breast milk is free! Also, I have read much about the benefits of breastfeeding for both myself and Zachary which motivates me to continue this journey.

Although it takes a lot of hard work, above all, it is such a privilege and special feeling to be able to provide for my child through natural means.

How did you deal with the difficulties of exclusive breastfeeding?

I spoke to a few lactation consultants and close friends who were able to provide tips and hacks on how to make the breastfeeding life easier. But at the end of the day, there are no two ways to deal with the difficulties in choosing to exclusively breastfeed – a mother will make it work no matter what, right?

For those who want to exclusively breastfeed, know the science behind breastfeeding, practise it and check in with your trusted lactation consultant to confirm that you are doing things right.

I work for an amazing company which supports parents in their personal childcare goals (e.g. dads get eight weeks of paternity leave). I did not face any judgment or hurdles in communicating to my leaders and HR about my intention to extend my leave period.

I am currently still on maternity leave and plan to return in early 2023. I love my job and I am confident that it is possible for a career woman to also have a healthy family.

I believe having a successful career will help me become a more all-rounded woman/better version of a mother by my own standards that my son can be proud of.

I felt loved. I felt seen. I felt appreciated for my labour of love (no pun intended!). I am so thankful that he took the effort to capture all of those precious and intimate moments so that we can always look back on the most joyful day of our lives. I was also excited to be able to share a piece of our story with our friends and people who care about us. And that those who do not know can relate to the labour experience slightly more.

How has your relationship with Adrian changed after having kids?

It has gotten stronger because we see ourselves as a team caring for our son. We also take time every day to talk to each other about ourselves, which are non-baby matters.

“When your baby keeps you up all night, just remember, you have a lifetime to catch up on sleep, but you will never have this night with your baby again.”

What do you love most about being a mum?

I love almost everything about being Zachary’s mum (maybe except for those times when he is screaming his head off).

I treasure the privilege to care for another life and knowing that what I choose to do will have a direct impact on my son’s whole life.

When it comes to motherhood/parenting, what kind of support would you like more of?

Someone professional who can dedicate time to guide me along the way right from birth.

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