I’ve always had the desire to be a mother. It was always a part of my plan, regardless of other pursuits in life. Although juggling a day job and running a separate business while raising two kids seemed challenging at first, I strive to do my best for them. I believe that we all continue to learn and grow as we attempt to balance these priorities day to day.

What would you say is the hardest thing about being a mum?

Staying calm and leading by example. Regardless of their age, children see us as their role models. They draw inspiration from us and look to us for motivation and guidance. Therefore, no matter what challenges we face in our professional or personal lives, we must present our best selves when in their presence.

What do you wish you knew before becoming a mum?

That our lives will never be the same. We must acknowledge and prepare for this change by embracing the new role of motherhood. As time passes, our priorities and aspirations shift to accommodate our children’s needs, and we must be ready to do what is right for them.

Someone once told me that if you’re doing what you love, you’re not working a single day of your life. For my day job, I’m in finance — it pays the bills and I’ve been doing that for the past 17 years. It’s become routine.

But ever since I founded Tambapanni Collective and started curating the best of Sri Lankan luxury, working with designers and top artists… I honestly don’t feel like I’m working. It’s as exciting and relaxing as watching a Netflix series.

We had a big event in Singapore with many prominent Sri Lankan individuals recently. It was stressful putting it all together. But at the end of the day, because I love everything Sri Lanka has to offer, I didn’t find it stressful at all.

There are times when I wish I had a bit more time for family. But you just need to give your 100 per cent when you know you’ve got something great in front of you that you love.

What are your tips on balancing work and family?

To me, the most important thing is to prioritise and not feel guilty about what you want to do. A lot of mums say: “I want to do this, but if I do this, then I’m going to miss out on that.”

At the end of the day, they are not able to do well at work or at home because there’s just constant guilt that keeps overshadowing whichever role they want to play. So whether it’s being a wife, a mother, or a professional, we need to ask ourselves what makes us happy.

I believe that if we take care of ourselves, we can take care of the people around us. So when I asked myself if I was happy, I realised I wasn’t. I used to stress about my job and feel like I was missing out on spending time with the kids. But I realised that because of this, I wasn’t my best version at work or with my kids.

When I started Tambapanni Collective, I felt like I found my purpose in life. Who knew that someone in the finance industry would be working with designers and doing fashion and art shows? I prioritise what makes me happy and when I come home, my children and husband see that difference. And children always want to draw on their mum’s positive energy.

Of course, there was a learning curve. When I first had my daughter, I wanted to quit my job and stay at home just to take care of her. But I realised I wasn’t a happy person sitting at home all the time. So the key thing is to be brutally honest with yourself.

Not really. You see, I can sit in the house the whole day with my kids, but am I spending quality time with them? For me, that is what’s most important.

I may be working, and I may be doing what I love, which is my business, but when I come back home, I give my kids the best version of myself. When I spend those few hours with my kids, including all the weekends, I make sure we have a productive time and that I am in the right state of mind.

I believe it is important to be present as a positive and happy mother whenever I’m with them. I only focus on them and nothing else.

We as women need to stop feeling guilty about missing out on everything. What we achieve professionally will only pave the way forward for them when they grow up. Children will always appreciate the happy environment they grow up in and work towards being more like their parents professionally. A mother’s love is second to none and when we are happy with what we do and with all our achievements, we only give our best to our families.

My kids were born in Singapore, so Singapore is home for them, more so than Sri Lanka. But they are definitely excited to learn about their culture.

They like to represent the country that they come from whenever there is a cultural dress-up day in school. They try to understand how to wear our traditional clothes and ask questions like: “Is this a sarong or a blouse?” And my daughter wears them for all the functions in school. It’s really great when they come and ask me about our culture.

Thankfully, they don’t feel caught between their Singaporean and Sri Lankan identity. They have a lot of friends who are also expats; for them, it’s not like they are trying to “fit in”.

Now that I’ve started Tambapanni Collective where I represent some of the top artists from Sri Lanka, my daughter is intrigued and wants to understand Sri Lankan art. Some of the artists I represent beautifully capture colonialism in Sri Lanka as well as other historic moments. I take pride in explaining this to my daughter. She often tells me that she wants to go to Sri Lanka and visit galleries to see more of an artist’s work.

When it comes to motherhood/parenting, what kind of support would you like?

I truly appreciate the assistance from my capable helpers at home who pretty much fill in our shoes when needed. And as long as my partner and I coordinate our schedules effectively, parenting can be a less stressful experience.

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