It can get a little boring with just me and my husband. We also knew that sooner or later, we would want our own family. During our seven years of dating, we shared almost everything together: career, marriage, and family goals. Being very much aligned in our life values, that gave us a sense of what we wanted for our own family when we reached 30.

I’ve always disliked the cries of babies and whining kids; they annoy me and stress me out, especially when in public.

However, I enjoy having a big family now. Our lives revolve around our three children. It can get really crazy but it’s also very fulfilling to watch them grow up.

It’s not just about me or my husband anymore, but it’s also about how we take on the challenge and manage these little ‘hoomans’. We are entering this phase of our lives where my husband and I get to see a different side of ourselves, and learn to grow with each other. This makes life so much more meaningful for us.

We now prefer traveling, having parties, watching musical shows together as a big family instead of just the two of us. To add on, my eldest child has been a great help and companion to me whenever my husband is busy at work meetings and I need a hand! And as the kids get older, I enjoy having heart-to-heart conversations with them.

The most stressful period for me was during the early stage of my motherhood journey, especially the first 12 months. Breastfeeding was the toughest and it got to a point where I was bleeding.

If someone ever says that breastfeeding is not painful, it’s a lie; there will definitely be pain when your infant can’t wait and wants to drink immediately!

It can get physically and mentally tiring, as well as stressful when I have to handle three kids, pump, and work all at once.

I find it quite ridiculous when I see very young kids (as young as 10 months old) watching YouTube on their mobile phones with their parents doing the same while having meals. It’s quite sad to see such situations even though the parents know very well (I hope) that too much screen time is not good for the eyes.

#Mumguilt comes from the unrealistic idea of a perfect mum.

It’s not possible to be perfect human beings. Instead of feeling #mumguilt, I’d do something about the situation. I can’t remember when was my last #mumguilt moment.

Every time any one of my children says “I love you”, “you’re my BFF mummy!” or “Mummy, let me help you” out of the blue, it makes me smile!

These small actions and thoughts let me realise I’ve made an impact on their lives.

I usually give them three chances before I issue my “warning”.

For example, if they keep talking or start to run around the house while having their meals, I would ask them to stop and finish up. On the third time, I’d tell them that I’m very unhappy and that there would be punishment (eg. no television/playtime) if they didn’t stop.

I aspire to be the mum who knows when it’s time to have fun. I bring my kids to parties, events, outdoor activities, sports activities, theatres, musical shows etc. I find this a great way to connect with them while learning through having fun!

I aspire to be the mum that they know they can come to whenever they make mistakes or when they are heartbroken. I want them to learn to be brave, kind, and strong so that even if things don’t go their way, they can stay positive and find other ways to achieve their dreams.

It has made me realise how much of a naggy person I can be. Haha!

It has also shown me what unconditional love means – the love and sacrifices a parent makes for their children; the many new perspectives being unlocked; realising the potential in myself.

I’ve definitely grown as a person as I learn to be more patient and have faith in my kids.

It took me a while to learn and accept that certain friends have to go. It’s part and parcel of life. At different stages in life, when our values differ, we just have to let go of some friends until we “meet” again.

Now, I’ve definitely got more mummy friends. I still have some of my closest girlfriends who truly respect my values, love my family, and move on with me.

I guess I’ve also learnt to filter out friends and keep those who are non-toxic and edifying, and to have healthier friendships that don’t leave me drained.

Self-care for me now is when I can have a proper meal without interruption.

It’s also being able to bathe without the kids calling for me.

Hopefully, as they grow older, I will have more time to myself!

Practical support. For example, looking after the kids when I’m cooking a meal, buying groceries, or just so that I can do my own things.

Financial support (eg. CDC vouchers, Capitaland vouchers etc.) is definitely helpful too.

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