#MumStory is a series by The Singapore Women’s Weekly to uncover the underrated and underreported moments in motherhood and parenting — because we believe every mum has a story worth telling. Got a story to share? Email us at sww@sph.com.sg or slide into our DMs on Instagram.
Re-entering the workforce after having kids can be a difficult endeavour. President Halimah Yacob said in a recent dialogue that more needs to be done to retain women in the workforce after they’ve taken some time off to look after their kids.
Sharing that belief, Stacy Chow, founder of Baby Express, says that “having a career and being able to earn an income in our modern society gives women a chance to be independent, and maybe live a better life“.
As a mother of four, Stacy often faced hesitation from potential employers, and found it tough to secure a job. That prompted her to start Baby Express, a business that specialises in portable breastfeeding products for working mums, in 2019. Now, the 34-year-old, whose children are 17, 11, five and three, aims to provide mums with affordable and reliable breastfeeding products, as well as an accessible side hustle. Keep reading to find out her #MumStory.
Growing up with two brothers and my cousins was a lot of fun. I enjoy being around children in general. The innocence and naive cheerfulness of a child makes life feel so much better. Their ability to love without expectations makes me want to be a better person.
What has been the most stressful period of motherhood for you?
The most stressful period was when I lost my full-time job. Back then, I joined a friend in running a side business to earn extra income.
Although the side gig didn’t interfere with my main job, my employer was not happy and told me to leave. As I had just invested financially into the side business and lost my main job, coping with my commitments was the biggest concern. I did not have an income and was worried about being able to feed my children.
That’s why I now have an affiliate programme under Baby Express, which can hopefully help mums earn a bit of side income without affecting their primary job.
What sort of difficulties did you face in finding and keeping jobs?
When I was applying for nine-to-six jobs at a junior executive level, companies usually asked about the arrangement for my kids and if there were alternatives when childcare closed or if they were sick.
Being a mother, my colleagues also deemed that I would not be able to commit to working like those without kids. There was a job where my manager actually told me off for taking urgent leave to bring my sick son to see a doctor.
In late 2018, it was surprising to see that there was no portable and affordable electric breast pump in our market, since most women in Singapore work. I’d wanted to breastfeed my baby for longer, but stopped because the electric pumps were either beyond my budget or too bulky and difficult to carry around. Those breast pumps also require to be plugged into a power source to operate, and have tubes. This confines mothers to one spot and limits their ability to multitask.
What is the most fulfilling part about running Baby Express?
Nothing matters more than knowing that our products are truly helping women in their everyday lives, allowing them to do what they want and even more. Being a mother shouldn’t limit what a woman can do.
What are the skills necessary to run Baby Express? How did you start the company?
A lot is actually required to run Baby Express; it’s like a child and the process is full of surprises. I’m learning new things every day.
When I started Baby Express, I was breastfeeding and so I studied and learned more about it, including the technology and creation of electrical products for breastfeeding. I took courses like the Lactation Consultant course, Postpartum Doula, marketing courses, and even self-learned some things online from marketing to website design, to creating the pumps and other products. Now, I have a team and experts who help me grow the company, and I still have a lot to learn from them.
Please share more about Baby Express’ initiative to give away breast pumps to mothers in need.
When I had my first child at 17, things were difficult. Luckily, I met a group of kind and generous mothers who shared their new and preloved baby items with me. They gave me hope for a better tomorrow. However, a breast pump is a very personal item which people usually don’t give and take. Thus, I thought we could help mums who are not in good financial positions by giving them a portable breast pump.
Also, not being able to breastfeed my two older children after I returned to work (as I couldn’t afford a breast pump back then) made me feel like a failure. I hope that this initiative of mine will help others.
Everything about being a mum is hard. It’s a never-ending learning process. Today, you learn to tackle their tantrums. Tomorrow, they come up with a new tactic to drive you crazy again. Be it a new way to protest having dinner, catching a virus, or learning a new trick, every day is just filled with lots of surprises.
What do you wish you knew before becoming a mum?
That what you read in books and online, and what people tell you about children are usually not true. I was told they scream a lot, sleep little, and fuss all the time. Yes, children do, but by understanding the cause, you can usually solve it easily.
For example, my three-year-old is always screaming and crying.
After trying out different ways to pacify her, we realised that we always misunderstood her.
As her vocabulary is very limited, we also noticed that she sometimes says a part of a word that may also mean something else, or not mean anything at all. We have to repeatedly teach her to speak properly. But until then, we constantly remind her that we don’t understand what she means, calm her down, and get her to repeat or explain herself while we try to figure it out.
I was told not to allow my children to have choices or have a say in anything, be it food, clothes, or what they want to do. They should just follow what the adults say or decide, and be obedient. I believe kids are like little adults, with minds of their own. And being able to make their own decisions makes them feel very powerful.
What do you love most about being a mum?
Learning that I’m more vulnerable and stronger than I realised.
What’s a recent #mumguilt moment?
Recently I have been working a lot and spending way less time with my children. With rising work stress, I’ve been very impatient with them; always asking them to be quick in everything they do. The younger two would tell me that they feel sad that I am in the office for long hours. They just want me to be home to play with them.
All that makes me feel guilty. I explain that there will be some days when I’m busier, and when I have a bit more free time, I would bring them out to play.
How about a recent motherhood moment that made you smile?
Recently there has been a virus going around the family and everyone took turns falling sick. When it was my turn, my two little ones decided to help out with tidying up the house so that “mummy can go and rest”. It’s very heartwarming to see the younger two working together and roping in the older two to help around the house so that I could take a break.
I am no longer a person who lives by each day and does what I want without second thoughts.
Being a mother makes me want to do so much more and be a lot more, because it’s not just about me. My children have dreams too.
My older two children will remind me to pursue my own dreams and do what I want. But for now, my ambition is to give my children a fulfilling life.
What are your biggest concerns about parenting?
I’m always worried about whether I provide my children with enough food, toys, fun, knowledge, and everything. If I am teaching them right and giving them enough to grow up and survive when my time is up.
We have very different views when it comes to parenting. Our expectation of each child is also different. However, we remind ourselves that no matter what, we both want the best for our children. We talk things out and let each other try our own methods as we believe different methods work for different children.
How has your relationship with your other half changed after having kids? How do you keep it strong?
It has become very challenging as we have very little time for each other. But we still make time for occasional date nights.
When it comes to motherhood/parenting, what kind of support would you like more of?
General support for mothers and also fathers throughout the whole parenting journey would be good. Parenting is not limited to just a period or phase. It is a journey and every day, every stage, has something new to offer.