I actually didn’t expect to have kids! I had been with my then-boyfriend (now husband) for over four years when I got pregnant. When I found out, I was really scared. My father had been pretty strict with me since I was a kid. He’s very traditional as well. But at the same time, I knew my parents liked my now husband.

When I told them, my dad went silent for a whole minute. He was dumbfounded. Then when he spoke, the first thing he asked was if I would keep the child. I was like, “of course!” because abortion has never been on my mind. Additionally, I was already 30 years old and my career was pretty stable. I had already planned to marry my husband – it just happened earlier than expected because we were waiting for our house like most Singaporeans.

My maternal instincts didn’t immediately kick in when I had my son. But after taking care of him during confinement, I fell in love with him. It’s quite a miraculous feeling, and I started really liking kids as well. After having two kids, I would say there is a great sense of satisfaction in seeing your kids grow up to be their own person.

There were a number of symptoms. He was always skinny but went through quite a drastic weight loss of about 2kg over a few months in P1. I thought it was because of increased physical activities. He also seemed to be extremely hungry and thirsty all the time.

The most obvious symptom was when he started to wet the bed. It was weird because he had been off night diapers since he was four years old and had not had accidents before on the bed. He also had to go to the toilet more frequently than usual.

So I called up his PD, got his blood sugar level checked, and it was high. We did the HbA1c test – which is the average blood sugar over three months – it was 8.7 per cent, which indicated that he had diabetes.

The bedwetting symptom showed up about a month after he caught Covid, and I’ve wondered if Covid might have been a contributing factor for his Type 1 diabetes, as researchers are studying the potential links.

I was shocked even though I already had my suspicions after googling all the symptoms he had. I was distraught for the few nights he had to stay in KKH.

His dad stayed with him while I stayed home to breastfeed my daughter. At that time, the hospital allowed only one parent to stay over. I visited him every single day and it was very upsetting to see him getting pricked and jabbed as he was terribly afraid of needles at that time.

Thankfully KKH had a good support system – the doctor, nurse and dietitian came to check on us pretty often. They also taught us how to manage his condition moving forward, as it is lifelong and has no cure as of yet. The nurse even ensured that my husband, helper and I knew how to prick ourselves so we knew that the pain is manageable. We needed to be confident to do this on our boy to check his blood sugar levels accurately.

The doctor, nurses and dietitians have said that the most important thing is my son’s growth as he is severely underweight.

For every meal, we have to count the amount of carbs that he is going to eat and match the amount of insulin to the food. However, as we would like to avoid jabbing too much insulin, he actually needs to avoid overeating refined carbs such as white rice and udon (which he used to do) and fill up with more proteins and fibre. We try to go for unrefined carbs such as brown rice when we cook or eat outside. I guess the good thing is that he has to be a less picky eater and eat a more well-balanced diet!

He is allowed to have pleasure foods such as ice cream or sweets once a week, though he isn’t a big fan of sweets.

It’s quite ironic, really, because a lot of people think diabetes is caused by your diet, especially for Type 1.

The impression people have when you say your child has diabetes is always “oh, they like to eat a lot of sweets”. But it really doesn’t have anything to do with diet. For Type 1, it could be because of genes (though there’s no living person in our family with it).

I have also informed his school teachers about his condition so that they can look out for any symptoms of his sugar running high or low. I am definitely more concerned about the lows as there are quite a lot of physical activities in school, hence he needs to know to reach out for a gummy bear or any sweet in his pocket when he feels “funny”, which is usually cold clammy hands and low energy (when his blood sugar level falls below 4mmol/L).

He also wears the Freestyle Libre sensor, a continuous glucose monitoring device on his arm. This sensor has to be changed every two weeks and it is pretty expensive, so I hope that the government will allow subsidies on such devices, and not just on insulin.

The doctor and nurse have also advised my son to be on an insulin pump once we are very confident with counting carbs. Overall, a pump is more accurate than the jabs we administer.

Yes, he understands! He has actually explained to a few of his good friends by describing that his pancreas is actually sleeping, hence it cannot secrete insulin to convert glucose/sugar into energy. Since he wears the Freestyle Libre sensor, his friends would ask him about it.

Some days, he gets down and tells me that if he could turn back time, he wishes he did not have diabetes at all. But I have explained to him that every single person has challenges to face, and his just happens to be diabetes.

I also assure him that mummy and daddy are always with him, and we will manage this well and keep him safe. Similarly, he needs to slowly learn how to do his pricks himself (which he now can), and eventually his jabs, so that he can live a safe and long life like everyone else.

He also said that he can never play soccer or other sports anymore. I told him that is not true. He is still able to, but he needs to monitor his sugar levels consistently as his sugar levels can drop very drastically with just 15 to 30 minutes of intense activity.

As a family, we are smarter with our food choices now. We try to ensure that we have more protein and fibre in our cooking or when we eat out. But we try not to make drastic changes in our food choices, such as avoiding all refined sugars. We go to our son’s favourite restaurants whenever possible.

I admit that some of the anxiety which I had as a new mum is back. As I have to worry about his sugar levels going high and low, I scan him very often to ensure that all is in order. But I try to remind myself to relax and that this is a marathon and not a sprint, hence I also need to learn to let go and let my son become more independent in taking charge of his condition.

I started an IG account for him (@avery.t1dchamp) for us to spread awareness of Type 1 diabetes as much as possible. I have not been updating as regularly as I want to as I still have a full-time job, but we will try to maintain the account as much as possible!

I would like for him to have as much of a normal life as other people if possible. When we eat out, I openly do his finger pricks and jab his insulin. I receive weird looks as people wonder why I bring out this entire diabetes kit.

The other day I heard this mother say to her child: “See, if you eat more sweets, then you’ll get diabetes and have to go through this.” I wanted to tell her that diabetes has nothing to do with diet but decided against it. What really needs to happen is more education and awareness.

I do not want my son to think that it is a condition he needs to be ashamed of. I always tell him that nothing he did could have caused Type 1 diabetes, hence there is nothing to be embarrassed about. Especially when he becomes a teenager, I do not want him to hide his condition and see himself as different from the others.

I think it starts with the food that’s offered in hawker centres. Chinese food is very high in carbs.

On that note, I think the food offerings in schools are also high in carbs. One serving of rice is normally 45g so my son can only eat one-third of that. Schools could offer meals with less-refined carbs.

I think they should also consider having quick-sugar options for children who might be diabetic in schools’ first aid boxes as well.

When my son was born. Being a first-time mum was really tough. It was the biggest change in my life because I was used to being in control. Even though I prided myself on being adaptable to changes, a newborn baby was quite unpredictable. It didn’t help that my boy landed in NICU due to my long labour and had congenital pneumonia – so that was pretty depressing for me then.

I was very adamant about breastfeeding my son but as I couldn’t latch him often when he was in NICU, my milk was slow to come, and I had issues getting my boy to latch after. So I was just pumping and crying almost every single day for the first month of his life.

It definitely got better with the support of my husband, parents and in-laws, and I managed to exclusively pump for my boy till he was 16 months old.

The funny thing was that everyone thought I would be the chill and cool mum who had everything under control. But nope. I struggled with anxiety because suddenly a life was dependent on me.

My boy would wake up like clockwork without fail every two to three hours and I had to change his diapers, feed him and pump milk. I was getting almost no sleep at all for the entire first year of his life. I vividly remember when he turned 13 months old, and I finally slept for a five-hour stretch. I woke up and panicked because I thought he died.

My boy was also a very fussy baby. When the breastmilk was not warmed properly, he would reject drinking the milk. He was also hypersensitive to light and sounds so bringing him out would always result in a couple of meltdowns even as a toddler.

Looking back now as a second-time mum, I can see how I was anxious in response to my son’s character but it’s also quite hilarious how I was overreacting with my son.

It’s important to take care of yourself first and be happy, then you can be a happier (and hence, better) mum to your children.

How about a recent motherhood moment that made you smile?

When my son came home from school and my daughter called “korkor” very loudly and ran over to hug him. He also hugged her back. As a single child, it was a very sweet moment for me to see siblings love and care for each other and to know that they have each other.

What do you love most about being a mum?

I love spending time with my children and seeing them grow into their own individual person. These are moments we can never get back.

Definitely no spontaneous holidays for just the two of us! Probably my fault – but I would have mum guilt if I left the kids alone and I would definitely worry too, especially because of my son’s condition (even though my helper is trained to prick and jab him).

There are frustrating days as well, as I’m definitely the more hands-on parent. My husband tries to be more present for the kids when I remind him.

When it comes to motherhood/parenting, what kind of support would you like more of?

Perhaps more articles on the benefits of a hands-on father figure could help. And more dad groups for dads (new and old) to exchange information and experiences with each other and learn from each other.

Many families have working mums and helpers now, but it does not mean that the responsibilities of taking care of the children should still fall mainly on them.

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