You might know Adrian Ang, 35, as SGAG’s co-founder and resident funny man through his online persona Xiao Ming, but according to his wife Goh Xin Lei, he’s quite the romantic at heart and a caring Dad to boot. “I would describe Adrian as a fun and protective father. If given the chance, he would make an excellent house husband!” the 35-year-old management consultant tells The Weekly.
The pair welcomed their firstborn Zachary, whom they have affectionately nicknamed “Ploop Ploop”, in July this year. Ang also shared the delivery process with viewers on his Instagram page, showing the unfiltered reality and emotions of giving birth.
This came after a devastating miscarriage in 2020, when their doctor found no heartbeat nine weeks into the pregnancy during a routine scan. “After the episode two years ago, it took me a while to really let go of the worry and fear of a similar incident happening again, and to finally embrace the joy of my wife’s pregnancy,” Ang shares.
“Because of our miscarriage history, I was mostly cautiously optimistic throughout the pregnancy,” Goh recalls.
In an exclusive interview with The Weekly, the couple opens up about the challenges as first-time parents, divvying parenting duties, their parenting philosophies, and more.
Xin Lei (XL): It’s a humongous responsibility that we are still figuring out together! Every day, you learn something new about your baby and about yourself. Counting on our intuition over having a well-laid game plan — that’s what I did not expect being a parent would be like.
Adrian Ang (AA): Parenthood is like suddenly being thrown into the middle of the ocean to navigate a sailboat with no prior experience. On most days, it is all sweet, nice, and calm on the sea and you can “wing it” on the sailboat. But on certain nights when thunderstorms and rough seas hit, it can get extremely overwhelming, especially with the double-edged sword of having one too many guidebooks with different advice for every problem.
AA: Learning how to filter out the overwhelming volume of advice and information from friends, family, and the worst of all, Google, while learning how to read the cues of the baby and trusting your own intuition was honestly the toughest because when it comes to caring for a baby, there is no one right answer. Conversely, as tough as parenthood might sound, one little smile from my little one is all it takes to make it feel like all the late nights, pain and sacrifices are worth it and we are thankful that Ploop Ploop came into our lives.
XL: The first two months postpartum were the most physically, psychologically and emotionally challenging — from postpartum recovery to trying to lose the pregnancy weight, sleep issues, managing postpartum blues, and just trying to be a mother. What was most challenging — and continues to be — is exclusive breastfeeding.
In the first two months, even with the help of many lactation consultants, I felt I had to figure things out on my own. There was a lot of self-doubt — whether I would continue to have enough milk, whether my baby had enough from the nursing session, wondering why he cried at my breasts, and if he would be confused between the nipple and the bottle teat. I am four months in and I definitely feel more confident and have gotten the hang of it. I hope to be able to do this for as long as I can.
I also like that I have learnt the art of multitasking and absolutely love the fulfillment and new sense of purpose in my life.
XL: Adrian covers the bookends on the weekdays, mainly because he has to go into the office to work. He wakes the baby up in the morning to bring him for a morning walk and tries his best to make it home in time for the baby’s evening wipedown. He also takes on the dream feed at 12am. I take on everything else. On the weekends, I get a little bit of a breather because Adrian takes on most of the caretaking, apart from nursing!
XL: We had this conversation at a bar during our recent trip to the Maldives! We are very aligned on our chosen philosophies and values — amongst them are 1. To be good role models for our son and 2. To enable our son to be self-confident and 3. To love and protect him to an appropriate extent.
If it is possible, I want to be a “gentle tiger mum”! I want to be strict when I need to but exude the gentleness of a caring mother unconditionally.
AA: While my wife takes on the ‘gentle tiger mum’ approach (laughs), I am really looking forward to bringing Ploop Ploop on adventures and experiencing the world, be it the good or the bad. In the process, my only wish for my boy is to help him become self-confident while discovering his passion and meaning in life.
AA: At SGAG, we provide flexible work arrangements to support all the parents in our company. That has allowed me to start and end work earlier so that I can be home to take over some of the evening baby-caring duties from my wife. This way, she can take a little breather while I also get to spend some precious time with my boy.
XL: I have decided to extend my maternity leave beyond the 20 weeks given by my firm, so I get to enjoy more of Zachary. We are planning to send our baby to infant care. Hopefully, this plan works out for us when I return to work.
XL: It is hard to put down in words my emotions about the entire experience but it was indeed a 27-hour labour of love (pun intended). Throughout, all I wanted was for our baby to be safe.
AA: It was honestly a whole roller coaster of emotions from anxiety to worry and then excitement, and a whole lot of happiness and relief when Ploop Ploop was delivered healthily and safely. Witnessing the entire delivery process with my own eyes has led me to have a newfound respect for my wife and other mothers out there! Delivering a baby is not easy at all.
XL: Unexpectedly, postpartum has been more difficult than the 37-week-plus pregnancy and delivery itself. In hindsight, I definitely placed more emphasis on the pregnancy journey and wished I knew in advance what to expect during the postpartum journey. What they call the fourth trimester (the 12-week period immediately after you have had your baby) is such an overwhelming experience – particularly pregnancy blues and anxiety as a first-time mother.
XL: I will never forget the moment we heard our baby’s heartbeat on the ultrasound, and the many other times thereafter. Because of our miscarriage history, I was mostly cautiously optimistic throughout the pregnancy.
AA: After the misfortunate miscarriage episode two years ago, it took me a while to really let go of the worry and fear of a similar incident happening again, and to finally embrace the joy of my wife’s pregnancy. So what we did eventually was to not worry too much about the future that might be out of our control, but to celebrate every successful gynae visit where our baby is healthy and growing.
XL: Trust me, I definitely did not plan to marry a man who would prank his wife at every opportunity. What you see of Xiao Ming is the funny and cheeky side of Adrian, which bears only 5 per cent of the similarity to his personality off social media. Contrary to popular belief, Adrian is quite romantic, and if given the chance, he would make an excellent house husband! He’s better at household chores than I am, and I think he genuinely enjoys keeping the house clean. Plus, I think he would 100 per cent pay to be with the baby.
I would describe Adrian as a fun and protective father. I know he would give all of the world’s happiness to our son, and want nothing more than a meaningful and purposeful life for him.
AA: Check in on your wife constantly! Pregnancy doesn’t just bring about physical changes for women, but also a whole lot of hormonal, emotional, and psychological changes. At times, these changes can be very overwhelming for mothers-to-be, and that’s why a husband’s support and presence are extremely important.
So a simple “how are you feeling today?” might provide great comfort for mums-to-be, and it’s how Dads can share a little in their pregnancy struggles.
AA: “Can you walk faster?” (laughs)