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Sex & Marriage

4 Reasons Why Your Man Takes A Long Time To Orgasm, According To A Sex Expert

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Sex & Marriage

4 Reasons Why Your Man Takes A Long Time To Orgasm, According To A Sex Expert

Is he taking too long to come? Here’s why and what you can do to help

February 4, 2021
4-reasons-why-man-takes-long-time-to-orgasm-sex-expert

Photo: Envato Elements

Whether in length or duration, “too long” is subjective. But if sexy time with your man has been leaving you sore because he takes longer than what you’re comfortable with to orgasm, it’s probably a good idea for the both of you to explore the cause in the name of compromise.

Dr Martha Tara Lee, a clinical sexologist and relationship counsellor at Eros Coaching, shares the four possible reasons, and how to overcome them.

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https://www.womensweekly.com.sg/gallery/family/sex-and-marriage/4-reasons-why-man-takes-long-time-to-orgasm-sex-expert/
4 Reasons Why Your Man Takes A Long Time To Orgasm, According To A Sex Expert
He has a desensitised penis
image

According to Dr Lee, the way in which a man masturbates can affect the sensitivity of his penis.

“Penis owners tend to masturbate quietly, quickly and roughly. In their hurry to get it over and done with, they don’t necessarily enjoy pleasuring themselves and instead treat masturbation as a chore. The thing is, masturbating this way may result in a desensitised penis.”

She adds that one solution is to encourage your partner to masturbate with a silicone lubricant as it simulates the feeling of being inside a vagina and focuses on pleasure. This may desensitise his penis over time.

123RF
He watches a lot of porn
image

Many men see themselves as visual beings and normalise watching porn. However, this also means that they don’t know how to pleasure themselves without this type of material.

“I have male clients come in to see me worried that they are sex or porn addicts when in reality, they don’t know how to self-pleasure without porn! I suggest reducing reliance on porn by experimenting with fantasy and and turning the attention inward, focusing on awareness, sensation, and arousal instead.”

Envato Elements
He is easily distracted
image

It’s no secret that we’re constantly inundated with all kinds of stimuli, whether from social media feeds and online shows to electronic games. But this can impact our sex life. A lot.

“We have essentially trained ourselves to have mentally engaged at all times and to have a shorter attention span with people. It is no wonder that your partner might find himself have difficulty focusing on you, even during sex. Practising mindfulness and meditation might come be useful,” says Dr Lee.

Envato Elements
He is easily stressed
image

“Nobody taught us how to destress and decompress. Those who relish thinking and problem-solving might find themselves over-thinking and over-analyzing,” says Dr Lee.

She points out that your man will need to practise compartmentalising better if he struggles to do so, and that it will require effort and time.

Text: Adora Wong/Her World

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Envato Elements
  • TAGS:
  • better sex
  • clinical sexologist
  • couple sex
  • how to orgasm
  • improving your sex life
  • male orgasm
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