Listen, we’ve all been there. One week your relationship with your partner is going great, and the next it’s like you’re both free-falling into arguments and a mountain of frustration. While it’s easy to simply put the blame on your partner, it might be worth taking a look at yourself to see if any of the problems stem from you as well. Remember: it takes two hands to clap, and it takes two to compromise and make a relationship work.
To find out if you are sabotaging your own relationship, here are some relationship mistakes that you may be making.
A good relationship means striking the right balance between couple time and alone time. It doesn’t mean that you have to do everything with him. Spending too much time with your partner can be exhausting and you need your own time for other relationships as well.
Give the both of you some room to go about doing activities on your own or with friends. Besides, when you’re out doing your own things, it gives you time to miss your partner and you’ll have loads more to talk about once you’re done.
Ah, social media. Let’s just say that with recent events, the biggest takeaway we have is that relationships online aren’t always what they seem to be.
It’s easy for people to find joy out of posting about their partners. They want to show off their relationship and sometimes relish the likes, comments and popularity their posts could get. However, remember that these are simply what they want you to see about their relationship. There are moments they are hiding from the camera as well, so don’t allow yourself to fall into the arms of jealousy the next time you see a post that depicts a happy couple.
Instead, the next time you catch yourself doing it (and it happens to even the best of us, especially on days like Valentine’s Day), remind yourself of the positive aspects of your relationship.
We often think that since he is our partner, that he should know us best. However, the truth is that not even you know what you want all the time.
Never expect him to know how you feel 100% of the time if you don’t tell him. Remember: communication is key. It is better to talk it out than fume in silence and leave him questioning why. We’re the ones responsible for our own happiness. Not anyone else. So, instead of relying on and expecting him to make you happy, why not actually ask for what you want and specify it so that your partner is able to help you better?
Long-term couples will understand what we mean when we say that being in a long-term relationship sometimes makes you a little more rude to your partner than you intended. It’s just something about knowing each other for so long that makes you comfortable around him – maybe even too comfortable, in fact.
This is because once you’ve reached a certain level of comfort with your other half, all your manners pretty much get thrown out the window. Instead of saying, “please”, “thank you” and “excuse me” like you used to, you ignore the formalities.
While there’s no need to be over-the-top polite, it’s just important to remember that being nice goes a long way in maintaining a relationship.
The next time you’re with him, check and see if you’re actually really there mentally or if you’re just physically there. With all the gadgets technology has given us, it’s simple to be glued to them and ignore those who are actually around us.
Instead, put the phone away, maybe even turn it so it’s facing downwards, and engage your partner in a proper conversation where you are totally focused on him.
This story originally appeared in Young Parents. Additional reporting by Terri Kue