What you want to say to him “Why am I doing all the work while you sit there and watch me clean up the whole house?”

Say this instead “We both have jobs that leave us tired, and caring for the baby adds to the exhaustion. I think we should share the responsibilities of housekeeping so that the burden isn’t all on one person. It will also be more efficient in the long run and we will both have time to rest?”

What you want to say to him “What makes you think that I should be the one who washes all the dishes? I find it as tiring as you do.”

Say this instead “You really helped me last week when you washed the dishes. It felt good to know that I wouldn’t have to get to it after doing a bunch of other chores. Is it okay if you continue doing that? I would really appreciate the help.”

What you want to say to him “I am dead on my feet right now but you expect me to clear up after you while you do nothing.”

Say this instead “I’m not feeling good right now. The baby has been screaming all day, and I’ve not had a moment to myself. I’d really appreciate it if you would do some of the chores tonight. You don’t have to do a whole lot, just what you can manage.”

What you want to say to him “If you think the floor is dusty, why don’t you vacuum it yourself instead of asking me to do it? I want to rest as much as you do.”

Say this instead “I understand that it’s dirty but I really don’t have the strength for that right now. How about you do it instead? It’ll be faster that way instead of waiting for me to have the energy to do it.”

What you want to say to him “If you want your clothes to be ironed straight as and when you want it, then maybe you should iron it yourself.”

Say this instead “I’m about to feed, bathe, and change the baby right now, how about you iron your own clothes? I’ve left the ironing board and iron out for you, so you can press your shirts ready for tomorrow.”

What you want to say to him “I wouldn’t have to spend the whole Saturday cleaning the house if you’d pitch in and help instead of lazing around.”

Say this instead “Let’s do the chores together every week. That way, we can get the whole house cleaned faster and we can both spend time with our child afterwards. We can also put on some music and make cleaning fun together, what do you think?”

This story originally appeared in Young Parents. Additional reporting: Terri Kue

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