While sex might sell, many people struggle to enjoy regular intimacy. A 2020 study of Singaporean couples found that, while married couples had more sex during and after circuit breaker, sexual frequency and satisfaction are still lower compared to our international counterparts. According to the study, married couples had sex three to four times a month, compared to six to seven times a month for US couples below 45 years old.
“Sexual function is very complex and depends on physical and psychological factors, so there are a lot of reasons why libido falls,” says Dr Ronald McCoy, a GP with the Royal Australian College of General Practitioners.
Here, we look at some lesser known factors that can dampen your ardour. Try to avoid them and you might have a better time in bed.
Going barefoot in the bedroom can make it harder for women to become aroused, according to Dutch research. The study found when women wore socks to bed, 80 per cent were able to reach orgasm. This dropped to 50 per cent if women were barefoot.
Neuroscientist and study leader Gert Holstege says warm feet makes us feel safe and so better able to enjoy the moment. Warmth and comfort also deactivate feelings of fear and anxiety in the brain.
“A pleasant environment, which includes the room temperature, is an important part of making a woman feel safe, secure and comfortable,” says Holstege.
An untidy bedroom can be a distraction during physical intimacy. Notice that pile of washing in the corner or the spot you forgot to dust on the dressing table and it can soon put your off intimacy, says Dr McCoy.
“A bedroom has to be warm, neat and tidy. Anything that interferes with you feeling happy and comfortable in the bedroom can kill your sex drive.”

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Swedish research has found that men who don’t have a sense of smell have fewer sexual partners – three compared to nine for men with a normal sense of smell.
The research also found women who can’t smell feel more insecure in relationships. It’s believed that we subconsciously use smell when choosing a mate and this may explain why losing this sense makes us less sexually active and confident.
“A lot of social signals are transported through the olfactory channel, and they are probably missing them,” says researcher Ilona Croy from the University of Gothenburg.
Excess kilos can have a negative impact on the male and female libido. For men, excess weight can lower testosterone, which in turn can lower libido, cause erectile dysfunction and a low sperm count. But losing weight increases testosterone by almost 50 per cent, says Irish research.
Psychologist Dr Mandy Deeks of Jean Hailes for Women’s Health says poor body image can take a toll on a woman’s libido. “It can be distressing if you’re made to feel bad about how you look, and studies show negative body image impacts on desire,” says Dr Deeks.
“But when women lose weight, sexual desire can increase, perhaps as women feel better about themselves, feel fitter and less tired.”
“Any condition that causes chronic long-term pain can kill sex drive,” says Dr McCoy. British research found 56 per cent of people with rheumatoid arthritis reported that their disease limits their sex life, mostly due to fatigue and pain.
“A therapist can discuss sexual positions that cause less pain,” says Dr McCoy.
“Timing is important, too. Osteoarthritis tends to be worse at night and rheumatoid arthritis inflammation tends to be worse in the morning.”
So focus on sexual activity at times when pain lessens and schedule you pain medication for an hour or so before sex. A warm shower before sex may also relieve joint pain.
Too much alcohol is known to affect sexual performance. You may not know though that this is partly because alcohol lessens skin sensitivity – an important element of sexual arousal.
US research found alcohol also decreases the intensity of orgasm and sexual satisfaction for men and women.
“A little bit is okay because it can relax people and help them enjoy touching and intimacy, but too much deadens all kinds of senses,” says Dr Deeks.
Men using prescription medications to treat baldness – particularly finasteride – may find they experience a drop in libido. And research at George Washington University found 96 per cent of men were still experiencing a lowered sex drive 14 months after ceasing finasteride.
“Finasteride blocks testosterone and decreased testosterone can decrease libido. It blocks the ability of testosterone to do its job,” says Dr McCoy.
“Be aware of this and if that bothers you, discuss other options for hair loss.”
Antidepressants can lower sex drive, and so can beta-blockers because they disrupt the biological processes that trigger an erection. The Pill or contraceptive implant can also lower sex drive, according to research from Germany that found almost a third of women could experience sexual dysfunction.
“If you start a new medication and lose libido over the next few weeks, it may be related to that new medicine, so talk to your GP,” says Dr McCoy.
Keeping your teeth and gums clean and healthy may help your sex life. Men who have severe periodontal disease were three times more likely to suffer erection problems than men with healthy gums, Turkish research shows.
“Chronic periodontitis (CP) is a group of infectious diseases caused predominantly by bacteria that most commonly occur with inflammation of the gums,” says Dr Faith Oguz from Turkey’s Inonu University.
“The result of our study supports the theory that CP is present more often in patients with erectile dysfunction than those without and should be considered as a factor by clinicians treating men with erection problems.”
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Text: bauersyndication.com.au, Additional reporting: Elizabeth Liew
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