• Entertaining
  • Food
  • Family
  • Beauty & Health
  • Style
  • Great Women
  • Videos
  • Events/Win
  • Best Beauty Buys
  • entertaining
  • Back To School
  • Covid-19 Health Guide
  • Food
    • Food
    • Quick & Easy Recipes
    • Healthy Recipes
    • Asian Recipes
    • Dessert Recipes
    • Eating Out
    • Festive Food
    • Cooking Tips
  • Videos
  • Family
    • Family
    • Parenting
    • Sex & Marriage
    • Travel
  • Home Ideas
    • Home Ideas
    • Decor Tips
    • Organising
    • Appliances
    • Domestic Diva Awards
    • Entertaining
  • Beauty & Health
    • Beauty & Health
    • Skincare
    • Makeup
    • Hair
    • Awards
    • Diet & Nutrition
    • Fitness
    • Wellness
  • Fashion
  • Career
  • Money
  • Real Life
  • Great Women
  • Entertainment
  • EVENTS/WIN
Subscribe Now!
  • Also available at:
Privacy Menu
SPH Magazine

Copyright © 2021 Singapore Press Holdings Ltd. Co. Regn. No. 198402868E. All rights reserved

  • Entertaining
  • Food
  • Family
  • Beauty & Health
  • Style
  • Great Women
  • Videos
  • Events/Win

Family

How To Win At Dating When You Are A Single Mum

Generic selectors
Exact matches only
Search in title
Search in content
Search in posts
Search in pages
Generic selectors
Exact matches only
Search in title
Search in content
Search in posts
Search in pages
Sex & Marriage

How To Win At Dating When You Are A Single Mum

Dating is hard but add being a single mum to the equation and it gets even harder

February 24, 2020
How To Win At Dating When You Are A Single Mum_Featured

123RF.com

Dating when you were childless was a walk in the part but after becoming a mum, not only is dating a pain, it can also be almost impossible. But if you’re ready to take another shot at finding love after motherhood, Dr Dina McMillan has some advice for single mums who want to take the plunge:

READ NEXT

“I Divorced My Husband After Giving Birth To Our Baby”

Clever Ways To Make Life Easier For Tired, Busy Mums

Singapore Mum Who Lost 40 kg After Divorce: “I Want Other Mums To Discover Their Confidence”

https://www.womensweekly.com.sg/gallery/family/sex-and-marriage/how-to-win-at-dating-when-you-are-a-single-mum/
How To Win At Dating When You Are A Single Mum
Tough times
image
It can be hard to get out there after being married, says single mum Sarah, 38.
“I was married for 10 years,” she says. “We got married when I was 21. We had drifted apart as our careers took different directions, and I got custody of our daughter Lucy.”
“I didn’t date for a long time,” Sarah says. “I was so busy trying to hold it together. I had a high-pressure senior job and a five-year-old. I used to envy people in comas, I was so tired.”
Sarah’s mother began to stay with her when she needed help with Lucy, and this took the pressure off. “Then a work colleague set me up on this blind date.”
Pexels
Go slow
image
Dr McMillan says take it easy when you first get back out there.
“On the first date, conduct yourself in a friendly fashion but don’t jump in with both feet,” she says “Be honest and easy-going. Even if you’re very attracted to him, resist the temptation to kiss! If you don’t do anything physical, you actually increase the likelihood of seeing him again.”
“He was gorgeous!” Sarah says. “And, being French, he was like, ‘You’re the best thing’ — completely over the top. It was really nice to be attracted to someone again and to feel beautiful and wanted again.”
After a few dates, Sarah fell for her Frenchman’s charm. “I’d lost my dating skills so my cynicism radar was gone and I was confused,” she says. “I felt like a teenager again. But he was just so hot and it was fun.”
Pexels
I have kids
image
“Be up front about the fact you have children,” Dr McMillan says. “Some guys would rather not deal with this particular situation. If that’s the case, it’s better to eliminate them early rather than risk getting attached.”
Sarah learned this the hard way. “I was ‘Cinderella’ because I had to be home by midnight for the babysitter,” she says. “He said, ‘You’re really gorgeous but I don’t want to see you anymore — you’re a mother and mothers are boring.’ So we left it at that.”
Pexels
Keeping the faith
image
Don’t get discouraged if you don’t find someone straight away, Dr McMillan says.
“Give yourself some time to adjust to dating again. You’re looking to find someone who’s a good long-term match for you and your kids.”
Sarah moved on. “I got into the rhythm of being single again as a different person,” she says. “I had another low-commitment, long-distance relationship and that ran its course as well. Then I met Pete … [when] I was at an event for work.
“There was a connection there and we have a lot in common, like art. He was also divorced and had two kids. A couple of weeks later we went on a first date. It’s been on since then!
“The children have to come first and your partner has to realise that, and with Pete it’s never been a problem if I had to break a date.”
Pexels
Meeting the kids
image
When do you introduce your children to your new partner?
“Even if your new guy is nice, meeting him will be a little confusing for them, so wait until you’re sure the relationship is going to be pretty serious,” Dr McMillan says.
Sarah agrees. “Pete is the first guy I’ve let Lucy see me with besides her dad,” she says. “That was really important. But you can’t let your children dictate who you date. We’ve been together for nearly four years but because of the children it’s gone slowly. We haven’t lived together yet … We’re talking about it.”
123RF
Get out there
image
Think you might be ready to date but don’t know where to look for love?
“Dating sites, fun adult classes like wine-tasting, scuba diving or rock climbing, signing up for a community sports team, or attending business-oriented seminars — there are a huge number of ways to meet new men,” Dr McMillan says.
“Don’t hesitate to go to female-only or female-oriented activities,” Dr McMillan says.
“The love of your life could be a friend or relative of someone you meet there. When out and about, the secret is to keep your non-verbal behaviour friendly and open. Be approachable. Be yourself. Enjoy being single because it won’t last forever!”
Text: bauersyndication.com.au / Additional reporting: Natalya Molok
Pexels
  • TAGS:
  • dating
  • dating tips
  • family
  • life after marriage
  • love advice
  • love life
  • online dating
  • single mother
SHARE THIS ON

What’s Hot

Sex & Marriage

The Most Romantic Hotel Rooms In Singapo...

Sex & Marriage

17 Celebrity Couples With HUGE Age Diffe...

Sex & Marriage

Share A Secret: "I Divorced My Childhood...

Sex & Marriage

How To Ace Your First Chinese New Year A...

Sex & Marriage

5 Women Share Seductive Tips On How To M...

Sex & Marriage

Is It Normal To Have Sex Only Once Or Tw...

Sex & Marriage

Does Sex Actually Get Better As You Get ...

Sex & Marriage

Newsflash: These Popular Porn Moves Shou...

Sex & Marriage

4 Reasons Why Your Man Takes A Long Time...

Sex & Marriage

How NOT To Get Pregnant: We Rate The Eff...

Sex & Marriage

Share A Secret: "I Dumped My Boyfriend B...

Sex & Marriage

Gearing Up For A Staycation With The Hub...

Don’t Miss These
  • Food Don't Miss Out On These Foodpanda Deals This Chinese New ...
Editor’s Picks
  • Sex & Marriage Share A Secret: "I Divorced My Childhood Sweetheart Because Of Sex"
  • Sex & Marriage Is It Normal To Have Sex Only Once Or Twice A Year?
  • Sex & Marriage Share A Secret: "I Dumped My Boyfriend Because He Had A Small Penis."
  • Sex & Marriage Gearing Up For A Staycation With The Hubs? Be Prepared To Have The Best Sex O...
  • Sex & Marriage 3 In 4 Singaporean Men Love Giving Women Oral Sex — Here's Why You Shouldn't ...
  • Sex & Marriage Everything You Needed To Know On Getting Spousal Maintenance In Singapore
Don't Miss Out Ever Again!
Tips & tricks to stay sane + win invites to our events!
Will be used in accordance with our Privacy Statement
Footer Menu
  • About Us
  • Contact
  • Conditions of Access
  • PDPA
  • Privacy Policy
?>
SPH Magazine

Copyright © 2021 Singapore Press Holdings Ltd. Co. Regn. No. 198402868E. All rights reserved