You know it, but you don’t know how you know it. Intuition is that sense of certainty about someone or something without the facts to back it up. In retrospect, your hunch often turns out to be right.
“When you’re looking for love, intuition can help you make a decision about a new love interest,” says Dr Judith Orloff, author of Emotional Freedom. “It can reveal the truth, warn you of danger or help you understand people and relationships in new ways.”
That doesn’t mean throwing out good old commonsense in favour of a hunch when it comes to choosing a mate, but if you’re stuck at a crossroads and have gone through all your options, getting in touch with your intuitive side might help.
Read on to find out how.
“Your body has many ways of getting your attention,” says Orloff. It could be a subtle relaxing of your shoulders when you meet someone who feels just right. Or, it might be your skin prickling when you meet a guy at a party. The bizarre thing is, he may not have done or said anything weird.
How to use it in romantic relationships:
“Next time you sense your body is trying to tell you something, pay close attention,” says Orloff. If a man makes the hairs on the back of your neck stand on end, don’t ignore it. Instead take your ‘gut reaction’ one step further and ask, ‘What is it about this man or situation that is causing me to feel this way?’
“You may not get an exact or logical answer but simply pausing and acknowledging your body’s signals might save you from getting involved with a destructive, unhealthy lover, or it could make you curious to pursue a guy who normally wouldn’t be your type.”
This is when you pick up a vibe from your partner. For instance, if you found him flicking through a lingerie catalogue you might sense that he’s fantasising about how he’d like to be with one of the lingerie models.
How to use it in romantic relationships:
In situations where ‘threatening’ relationship thoughts are intuited, it’s a good idea to keep your hunches to yourself. Most relationship-savvy couples know such thoughts are fleeting and not to be taken seriously.
If you suffer from anxiety or feel insecure about your relationship, you will need to use more caution. You might be good at divining your partner’s negative feelings and thoughts, but the catch is that you’re probably missing the positive things your partner is thinking about you.
Intuiting critical feelings only winds up sabotaging the relationship. Reading other people’s feelings will improve your romantic relationships, as long as you don’t project your own insecurities and fears onto your partner.
This is when you feel you have had the same conversation with this person even though you have just met. It is a common phenomenon, with up to 70 per cent of the population reporting some type of deja vu experience.
Psychoanalysts explain it as wish fulfilment; other experts in the field of parapsychology believe it’s a powerful affirmation that you’re on track.
How to use it in romantic relationships:
“Don’t dismiss deja vu as weird and then forget about it. Instead talk about it with a friend or make a note of it. Recognising a deja vu experience energises it, acknowledges its significance and enables you to find out what it is trying to tell you or where it might be trying to lead you,” says Orloff.
When it comes to romance, deja vu can make you feel confident in your decisions, but like most things in life careful consideration is a must. If you’re facing a big life decision like getting married, always back your hunches up with rational thought.
This is the experience of perfect timing in your life. For example, a friend you haven’t seen in 10 years sends you a random invitation to her party, and the guy you meet there and instantly hit it off with also hasn’t seen your friend in years and received the same random invitation.
How to use it in romantic relationships:
“Stay aware and look for synchronicity everywhere,” says Orloff. “Such moments let you know you’re in the flow and exactly where you need to be. See if you can uncover the hidden significance. Was it fate that you were meant to meet this guy? Had you met him a month ago, would it have been so right for both of you? Were you meant to bump into your old love at the supermarket?”
This is when your gut instinct tells you that guy you have fallen crazy in lust with is a poisoned chalice, but you’re on a hormone so high you ignore the red flags.
How to use it in romantic relationships:
The more experienced you are at dating, the more accurate your gut instincts will be and these shouldn’t be dismissed without some investigation. You might be subconsciously picking up on your date’s behaviour, such as his body language, without being aware of it. Instead, it will register as a certain gut feeling that you can’t articulate at that moment but it could very well be valid.
Try slowing down long enough to listen to your intuitive intelligence. If you want to back your intuition up with logic and rational thinking, test it out on close friends and family. If you family, friends and gut feelings are in sync, you may need to find a new lover.
- Ask yourself a question and take note of the first answer that pops into your mind. For example, ‘Should I continue seeing this man?’. Several thoughts will flood your mind at once. Pick the first answer that stands out to you. Don’t dwell on thoughts such as, ‘I don’t know if he’s my type’ as it will undermine your intuition.
- Meditate. Clearing your mind of repetitive thoughts and worries makes it easier to listen to your intuition.
- Listen to your gut. Many times, a decision that you ‘know’ is wrong makes you feel uncomfortable in your stomach.
- Keep an intuition journal. Every day, use your intuition to make a guess about someone. Don’t act on it, just write it down – something like ‘I have a feeling that…’ Make a note of physical changes associated with your intuition. Looking back in your journal, see how often you are right. As you learn more about your intuition, and you see it leading you in the right direction, your confidence will grow and so will your intuitive power.
Text: bauersyndication.com.au