“I do.”
They’re just two little words, but they’re so laden with meaning. Every bride says them earnestly, hoping for a lasting marriage, happiness and maybe a family.
Yet, it doesn’t always end up that way. Given the option after a few years of wedded bliss, 55 per cent of women wouldn’t marry the same man again, according to a study conducted by bestselling US relationship writer Susan Shapiro Barash. Somewhere between the altar and happily ever after, she says, women can experience nine distinct stages in their relationships, each of which can sink or strengthen it, partly because we’re so attached to the romantic ideal.
“It’s so drilled into us from every fairytale to romantic comedy,” says Barash. “If you’re married, it means someone really loves you. We want that connection. It gives you an identity, a status, protection and opportunity to be part of a team.”
Yet many of us are unprepared for the realities. “We dive in, eyes wide shut,” says Barash, who wrote her book The Nine Phases of Marriage: How to Make It, Break It, Keep It to guide women through the stages they may experience.
“I predict that the role of wife is here to stay,” she observes. “Just how we do it might change.”
Ahead, get to know the nine different phases or stages of marriage and how to navigate them.