A good sex life inviolves compromise, because no one is satisfied with sex every single time.

It’s the same with how often you have sex. You might need to have sex a little more or a little less than you’d like. It’s about meeting in the middle. Dr Morrissey explains, “We are not machines. Our libidoes naturally go up and down. Sometimes you can work it out together. Other times you may want to see a counscellor who can help you get back to being happy with your sex life.”

Dr Docks says. “We do not hear about it so much but a lot of older couples have a satisfying sex life.” Researchers at the University of Chicago found that couples aged 52081 who regularly enjoy sexua activity tend to have happier mariages. Because a good sex life does not just mean penetrative sex — it includes all sexual acts, including cuddling, touching and so on.

“A healthy sex life creates harmony and connects you as a couple. But a satisfying sex life is not just about the act. Libido is also about all the gestures of appreciation and the caring touches you share with each other. Touching, cuddling and spending intimate time together all build intimacy,” says Dr Docks.

Libido can fluctuate for many reasons. ”It can be just who you are. But changes can also be due to hormone changes, health conditions, medication and the stresses of life. All these can affect your sex drive,” says Dr Docks.

Lifestyle factors can also mess with your libido says Dr Morrissey. “Fatigue. Stress at work and how much alcohol you drink can all affect your health and libido. So if your sex drive has suddenly dropped off, your first call should be to your doctor They can do blood tests to rule our medical causes.”

Whatever the cause of your mismatched sex drives, Dr Morrissey shares several realistic ways to get back that loving feeling.

Keep electronics out of the bedroom as much as possible

Or, at least remove your work laptop! “You want your bedroom to feel like a sexy place. Try not to have serious relationships or work discussions in the bedroom.” If you don’t have much private space at home, consider going to a quiet park or cafe to have a chat.

Walk while you talk

If you are the type of couple who find it hard to have face-to-face conversations about stuff, go for a walk together and chat as you stroll. It can be less intimidating to talk about important topics this way.

Do not blame or shame

Getting intimacy back in the goal here –- it is not about scoring points. “This situation affects both of you, so keep your conversations positive and productive,” says Dr Morissey.

Text: Bauer Syndication/ARE Media

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