Most of us have some idea of what cheating in a relationship is like. But then there’s also micro-cheating, which according to couples therapist Lindsey Hoskins, includes a set of behaviours that flirts with the line between faithfulness and unfaithfulness.
While not necessarily a cause for concern, it can lead you down a slippery slope if you’re unable to keep their behaviours in check. Here are five ways you might actually be doing it.
Whether it’s about after work plans or leaving out the fact that you’re hanging with friends that include someone you’re potentially interested in or have history with, leaving out information or lying to your partner can be classified as micro-cheating.
This happens especially so on social media. From slipping into someone’s DMs to constantly liking or commenting on their photos, when you’re doing things to interact with someone with the intention of gaining their attention while you’re in a relationship, it could potentially be considered micro-cheating.
You’re being hit on at a bar or party and instead of turning them down, you welcome the flirtation by downplaying your relationship either pretending that it doesn’t exist or that it’s not as serious as it actually is. Even if this flirtation doesn’t actually lead to anything, downplaying your relationship can be considered micro-cheating.
Say, you’re interested in a colleague at work and you dress or act differently in order to grab their attention while in a relationship, you might just be micro-cheating. This can also manifest in other ways such as cozying up to the person you’re interested in at an after work drinks or a party.
If you’re sort of interested in someone in your friend group or workplace and you stop inviting your partner to those events because you want to be able to interact with this person on your own, that could be micro-cheating as well.
Ultimately, the definition for micro-cheating (just with any sort of cheating) really depends on the couple and what they’ve agreed upon. While some things are universally frowned upon — like sleeping with someone you shouldn’t — others are not always as clear. What’s important to do is communicate these things with your partner if you’ve got any doubts on whether any actions are considered cheating.
Text: Atika Lim/Her World