Remember that it takes a great deal of courage for your child to admit to you that they are being bullied – they may be worried that you will think they are making a big fuss about nothing. This aggressive behaviour can take many different forms, including verbal threats, racial harassment, teasing about their clothes or appearance, or social exclusion.

Physical retaliation rarely has any positive impact on the bully – and often, it completely backfires on the victim. You can never be sure of the bully’s physical potential. There is no guarantee that a momentary overpowering of the aggressor will stop their tormenting – they could return with a large, powerful group of their friends.

Your child may not tell you they are being bullied, so look for the signs such as regular loss of pocket money, unexplained bruising on their arms and legs, damage to his school bag, or reluctance to attend school without a sensible explanation. If you suspect they are being bullied, chat with them about this.

The adage, “He who walks away lives to fight another day”, is true. Too often this type of avoidance strategy is mistakenly construed by the victim as an act of cowardice when, in fact, it is sensible. They should move away slowly, without running.

Encourage your child to react as little as possible to the bully’s threats. It’s a cliche, but the truth is that teasing and bullying often stop eventually when the victim displays indifference to the actions against them. Ignoring verbal and physical threats is difficult, but it can be done successfully. Practise this with your child at home.

Tell Junior to spend as much time as possible in the company of other children. This especially applies to free-play situations either in the school playground or outdoors after school. Bullies pick on children who seem solitary and isolated. Therefore, a child standing alone in the school playground is a potential target.

This is a very practical strategy. Victims tend to remain static in the playground during school breaks. Reduced self-confidence glues them to one spot. Far better for your six year- old to be on the move, even if they are on their own than to be seen standing still in the school playground as an easy target.

Your child probably looks afraid because they anticipate the bully will attack again. Teach them more positive body language so that they look assertive and confident. For instance, they should walk with their shoulders held back, back upright, eyes looking directly in front and with a relaxed facial expression or a smile.

You can also help your little one deal with bullying by playing your part. They don’t have to cope with this on their own. If you think that bullying occurs in school, talk to their teachers, but do insist that they act discreetly without mentioning their name. They should respond positively to your concern.

Cyber-bullying is increasingly common in this age group, as more and more young kids have access to smartphones. If your kid is involved with social media, check the messages they send and receive. Be especially alert if they appear to have a sudden surge of incoming texts, and looks unhappy whenever their phone pings.

This article was first published in Young Parents.

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