For younger children who are not able to speak yet, or have just learnt to speak, Kelvin recommends focusing on body language. “Younger children naturally use hand gestures and facial expressions to express themselves and their feelings without a proper chain of words,” he notes. 

So use plenty of facial expressions and hand gestures when you talk to your baby. You can also read books aloud to them, with plenty of expression. 

Since children learn to speak by copying the way their parents speak, it’s also encouraged for parents to avoid too much ‘baby talk’. Use a wide vocabulary, and speak in proper sentences. Encourage your child to ask about words they don’t understand, and to make use of new words that they learn. 

Since good public speaking is about listening and body language as well as speaking, it’s also important to show your children that you’re willing to listen when they speak. It can be as simple as putting down your phone and making eye contact with them when they speak to you. This shows them that their words are important and respected.

For children in kindergarten through lower primary, conversation is a good skill to focus on. Conversations help children become better public speakers because they give children the chance to work out what’s the most important point of a story.

Maybe set aside time at the end of every day to chat. Get them talking by asking questions that encourage them to elaborate more.

Avoid questions that give you one-word or yes-or-no answers. So instead of asking, “Do you like books?”, you can try asking, “What is your favourite book, and why?”. 

You can also try to phrase your questions in new ways, or find different aspects about the topic to talk about. For example, instead of asking, “How was your day?” you can try “What was the best part of your day?”, or “What’s the favourite thing you learnt in school today?”.

Your child might not be presenting in front of a big audience, but as they speak and listen to you, they’re practising how to put their thoughts into words, how to elaborate on what they want to say, and many other valuable skills – including tonality.

Tonality is how you adjust your words and tone of voice to show emotion. For example, you might speak more softly to a baby, or coo at them in a high pitched voice. The baby has no idea what you are saying, but they will respond to your happy and gentle tone of voice.

Tonality is vital to communication – and conversation with you gives your child a chance to practice using tonality to get across their emotions and thoughts in a way that persuades their audience. For example, asking a child to “use their indoor voice” is encouraging them to use the correct tonality to get their point across.

Kelvin shares that having good sentence structure is extremely useful. He explains, “This skill not only allows others to understand them, but it also allows them to build rapport and earn the respect of others.”

When it comes to things like sentence structure and speaking, practice makes perfect. Aim to demonstrate good sentence structure when you speak to your child. It also helps to encourage them to read widely.

You can also encourage your child to share more about topics that interest them, by doing “show and tell” presentations.

Kelvin suggests adapting an exercise that he uses in class, where he has kids take turns doing presentations on a topic of their choice. He explains, “Allowing the children to choose the topic increases their interest and confidence in speaking up. In addition, they naturally have more to say and be more keen on researching the topic, due to their excitement about it.”

Having informal presentations or show and tell sessions at home encourages kids to practise their speaking skills. As they prepare for the sharing sessions, they’ll have to plan and structure what they want to say, which is good practice for public speaking.

Whether it’s to one other person, to other family members, or to a small group, you’ll want to create opportunities for your child to speak to others.

As parents, we sometimes speak on behalf of our children, especially when they’re young. Instead, try to let your child speak for themselves and express their needs from an early age. This could be as simple as allowing your child to order their own food when the waiter comes to take your orders. Or, if there’s something that your child needs to inform their teacher about, let them do so themselves instead of sending an email to their teacher. 

You can also look out for chances for them to speak in front of groups of family or friends. 

For example, if you’re having a family gathering, encourage your child to do a short show-and-tell presentation about a new toy they have, or have them tell everyone something interesting that happened in school. If your child is having a birthday party, let them say a few words in front of everyone to thank them for coming. Even if it’s only a couple of sentences, it’s still practice. 

It’s common that children might get nervous speaking to other people. To calm their nerves, you can consider practising what to say or role-playing with them beforehand. 

As your child gets used to speaking to individual strangers, or in front of small groups of familiar people, public speaking will become less daunting. Kelvin explains, “Once children adapt and get used to the routine of speaking to a crowd, the challenge of public speaking in front of outsiders becomes easier.”

Even with much preparation, children may clam up during examinations and presentations. This could be due to various reasons, such as exam anxieties, or mind blocks. 

When this happens, Kelvin shares, “One thing I notice is that parents’ constant encouragement plays a huge role in a child’s motivation to ‘open up’.”

Even if your kids are currently too shy or nervous to speak up, don’t underestimate their potential. Kelvin’s advice is “Don’t give up. Continue giving them positive affirmations. It helps your child increase their internal confidence, which will show externally in due time.”

This article was originally published in May 13, 2022, and updated on 1 May, 2023.

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