So you have an aunt or uncle whose mission in life is to put a negative spin on everything? Try to distract them when cornered by smartly sidestepping any awkward questions by saying, “It’s Chinese New Year! Lets not talk about negative stuff!”

There’s always that one relative who is overly worried about your well-being but instead of getting annoyed, realise that they probably do it out of concern, and don’t resent them for it. Switch the focus back to that person by offering to help them!

Being smothered and fussed over can be really annoying and awkward, but you can’t afford to offend an elder. You could either indulge them for a few minutes and then politely excuse yourself or pretend you have to go to the toilet then never come back.

If someone says something extremely rude at a family gathering and you just can’t stay silent, look slightly confused and ask, “I’m not sure I understand what you mean. Could you explain that?” This way you’re not being rude yourself, but there’s no way they can explain themselves without seeming like a jerk in front of everyone.

Make sure you always have a glass of water or cup of tea with you. With so many relatives, there may be people you don’t know well, and holding something makes you less fidgety around people you don’t know. It also gives you an excuse to duck out for a refill if things gets too awkward!

Sometimes the most distant of relatives show up and you realise you haven’t the slightest clue of their names. Instead of panicking, suggest playing a game. If you’re lucky, you’ll overhear their names being called and that’s when how you learn what to call them once and for all.

Don’t feel guilty if you need to have five minutes alone now and then. So many people, so much noise and so much time in a group can be overwhelming. Plus you might be in the middle of a food coma. Excuse yourself for some fresh air and come back cheerful and recharged.

Don’t be a grump and bring negativity to the start of the New Year. If something is bothering you, try to keep a smile on your face and maybe seek out a cousin or sibling to talk to if you really can’t hold it in. It’s better to talk it through with someone who cares about you.

It’s okay to be a little tipsy during CNY, after all its a festive time where you can let loose. But when relatives drink too much at reunion dinner or during visiting and gambling, they can become rude and obnoxious and say things that they don’t mean. Avoid situations where family members end up hurting each other’s feelings by dealing with a tipsy cousin or elder diplomatically. Recommended line: “I notice you seem to be a bit unstable on your feet (or whatever you can observe rather than making a judgement) – can I help you over to a chair and get you a glass of water?”

Truly, the key to surviving Christmas is to maintain realistic expectations. Forget about the images of family togetherness that we are being inundated with. Be realistic. If you’re not close to your relative and only see them once a year, it’s unlikely that you’re going to form some unbreakable overnight bond. See your relationship as it is, don’t force anything and just get through the holiday in peace.

Text: bauersyndication.com.au / Additional reporting: Natalya Molok

This post was updated on January 17, 2020.