Spend time with friends and family, so your child can feel they are with people who are on their team. Friends can help you celebrate achievements and are especially important when you are going through hard times. Keep reminding them that you’re on their side.

Recognise their strengths and abilities and nurture these. If they enjoy dancing, dance, or if they like painting, do some art together.
Spending time doing things they love will make them happier and more confident. Don’t spend all your time and energy closing out weaknesses. Focus on what your child loves instead so they can thrive.

Teach them to value their thoughts and feelings by letting them know these are important. Let them voice an opinion.
Although speaking up can seem scary sometimes encourage them to put their hand up in class and share their ideas. The education system in Singapore has changed radically over the last few years. Today speaking up, having an opinion, and taking part in class discussions are valued – and can also contribute to their final grades.

If you try something new together your child can get used to the butterfly feeling in their stomach when they’re nervous or worried. Start with something small, like trying new types of food or an adventure to a new place. Any achievement can be celebrated—sometimes keeping a memento of an achievement lets them recall that feeling of nerves, and how they coped with it. You’re reminding them that change is inevitable, but also giving them the confidence to tell themselves, “Yes, I can do it.”

Ask your child to describe how he feels when self-doubt creeps in. Is he worried that he can’t complete a task? Is he embarrassed that he doesn’t have someone to sit with at lunch? Is he anxious because maths is hard? Maybe he’s not sure exactly how he feels about being in different classes to come of his friends? When your child unpacks his feelings, he can begin to work through them.

Have your child make a list of negative statements that run through his mind and then make another list of counterstatements that include steps to avoid the negative outcome. Instead of, “I’m terrible at maths problems,” for example, your child might say, “I’m good at languages, and I’m working really hard to understand my math homework.”

Try some meditation apps with your child. Encourage your child to understand that the critical voice inside is not something that defines them and to let the negative thoughts go. Meditation can help you to be aware and in the moment, to not worry about the past or have doubts about the future. Deep breathing and meditation actually reduce stress and calm the mind.

if your child struggles to sit still and meditate, try encouraging them to get into hobbies or activities that allow them a little zone out “me time”. Swimming laps, coloring-in,  tending to their succulent plants… it doesn’t matter what it is, as long as your child is absorbed and in the momentThere’s no real goal to it, except relaxing and quieting negative thoughts.

It’s easy to get caught up in negative emotions as adults – and sometimes we may not even realize we’re doing it. For example, how many times have you said ‘Oh no, I’ve forgotten to do this… I’m the worst mum’ in front of your child?

Our kids take their cues from us, so make corrections to your own negative self-talk to show your kids that even adults need to reframe their thoughts and focus on the positive.

Text: bauersyndication.com.au / Additional reporting: Natalya Molok. Last updated March 2022